i can call me wise

i guess, once i was young... imature. Ungided in the ways of love and life. once i was just a child... naive and stupid.
Once i made a mistake... one mistake i regret, one mistake i would take back. photgraphys don't lie... photographs are forever, photographs don't lie, but they depict you in ways that you are not.

she is just a child... just a small girl. happily blundering about in her life, dressing up, putting out... she needs.... to be wanted. she needs, to be admired. she needs to have comment about her, to have pride, to have the power, to have people wanting her, people admiring her, people congratulating her.

she's so young, and naive... she doesn't know... oh how much she doesnt know. i want to go to her, and pull her out of the trench she's stuck in, pull her out, dust her off and point her in the right direction. i want to give her face a slap, so she snaps to attention... so she might understand, before she is slapped emotionally. it saddens me to see such a child... so young, going in such a wrong way. no wonder she's lonely for she won't allow herself to feel real love...

i can call me wise now. i have been there. i was shallow... i was lonely, for i had no friends... no real friends. but i didn't notice. i was happy. and then i felt love... and it blew me away, i was amazed at such power. and i would do anything for such a powerful emotion. for i did not know that that is the power all real emotion has. and i made mistakes, i let myself become a slave to the power of that emotion, and throw myself out in ways i shouldnt. i made mistakes, i shamed myself... i was a young... stupid child. just like her

so why. why does someone look upon her in disgust when she gave them more then i ever gave them... and look upon me with admiration... when as i said, i have promised nothing. i offer nothing. and i never will.

i can watch from a distance and see mistakes before they are made. i can want to cry out a warning, but i am never heard.


i can call me wise in another situation too. wanting what you aren't given. i have dug myself into a hole... like so many simultaniously and before me have before. i have been there. i have longed for someone's love and touch. and i know how not to go about this. and i see, someone going about it all wrong. sometimes you can see signals... signals too hold on, reasons to stand your ground... small flickers of hope. sometimes... you make them up. sometimes letting go is the way to keep them close, or not keep them close, but simply let them go to let them go.

i have held onto things for too long before, i have seen what it does and i watch a poor boy, who calls another imature, who doesn't stop to see himself... doesn't pause to notice who he is. a poor boy, naive yes, blundering about blindly hoping. it is undoubtedly an admirable hope, and amounts of courage to be feared, but channeld wrongly. hypocritically he makes statements about people, about feelings... without stopping before to look at himself to understand himself and see the error he has made. he does not judge fairly as i have done as well... overlooking small details and deciding not based upon the facts but on raw emotion alone... this is not wrong, but to blame the emotion on facts... then undoes your perfect set up until people see you twisted and as a lier. i've been there... i know the error when i see it.

i need to be needed. she needs to be wanted. i have an iresistable desire to be iresistably desired... as does she. we are not so different, however we come across... and yet people could choose between us easily... we are both shallow in some ways, and both deep in others. we both have meaning... and dreams, and tears, and scars... we both have laughs, and joys, and memories. we both make mistakes... but i am now wise.. and she is so young... so naive... so unprepared for the hurt she is and will face... and outsiders are not helping her by shooting her down now... i made a mistake, a disgraceful shaming mistake... and i didn't talk because i knew people would look down on me... i have seen how they react when it's other people and i, they're friend was afraid that they would bring their wrath down upon me too. thats loyalty and trust for you. i shouldn't need to fear them.

i should feel like i feel with lolo. who states, that underneath my mistakes and naivity he can still just see me... and he knows im in there somewhere and he will simply wait for me to come back... so why can't you