The body image that you put on display says you can't keep away from me. i think you know it so open up your heart and see, you do those little things... those are the little things that make me want you in love with me.
i'm tired of hiding here are all my blogposts i havent posteed
0
am i not pretty enough
Kiss me too fiercly, hold me too tight... I need help believing, you're with me tonight. Maybe I'm brainless, maybe that's why... I thought for just a second that you could be mine...
A smile as white as snow, A life I'll never know, A beauty rich and rare, A feeling I'll never share. A nose that is just right, that dream is out of sight, and eyes that capture the soul, that's a place I'll never go, that's the beauty I'll never know.
To move with easy grace, why that's just not my place, to walk as if you're gliding, that reality is sliding..... away from me. every hair in it's spot, god i'm missing an aweful lot, to be where they are... it's so very far. I want that smile as white as snow, it's the life i'll never know. a beauty rich and rare, a feeling I'll never share. flawless in every way, i don't think i'll get there "someday" to be beautiful is an awefully long way away.
Pfft, i mean i could, for all it's worth, try and cross their turf... but i know I'll just get hurt, when my efforts fail to work.
and if im stranded, where i landed... then no one will know
and to be where i want to, i've still an awefully long way to go.
that be mah new song guys... maybe for my musical im thinking about it...
but until then i remain your ever faithful, striving to be pretty enough,
mad-E bobutt
A smile as white as snow, A life I'll never know, A beauty rich and rare, A feeling I'll never share. A nose that is just right, that dream is out of sight, and eyes that capture the soul, that's a place I'll never go, that's the beauty I'll never know.
To move with easy grace, why that's just not my place, to walk as if you're gliding, that reality is sliding..... away from me. every hair in it's spot, god i'm missing an aweful lot, to be where they are... it's so very far. I want that smile as white as snow, it's the life i'll never know. a beauty rich and rare, a feeling I'll never share. flawless in every way, i don't think i'll get there "someday" to be beautiful is an awefully long way away.
Pfft, i mean i could, for all it's worth, try and cross their turf... but i know I'll just get hurt, when my efforts fail to work.
and if im stranded, where i landed... then no one will know
and to be where i want to, i've still an awefully long way to go.
that be mah new song guys... maybe for my musical im thinking about it...
but until then i remain your ever faithful, striving to be pretty enough,
mad-E bobutt
Posted by
madsie
no swine flu...
panic. No point in testing as yes or no answer will only result in the same help. "stay home and rest, don't cough or breathe on anyone thankyou and goodnight."
great thanks for the help right?
oh well... no testing, no confirmation but apparently a week off school ey? isn't that nice :P ah just on the few days i'd like to be at school for meetings and shopping etc. oh yey.
oh yeah... and i forgot my locker combo... yey! and i've lost my maths book, double yey! School is always good.
and i've actually run out of concrete difusers right now so i can't be bothered thinking
write for ya later xx
great thanks for the help right?
oh well... no testing, no confirmation but apparently a week off school ey? isn't that nice :P ah just on the few days i'd like to be at school for meetings and shopping etc. oh yey.
oh yeah... and i forgot my locker combo... yey! and i've lost my maths book, double yey! School is always good.
and i've actually run out of concrete difusers right now so i can't be bothered thinking
write for ya later xx
Posted by
madsie
STOP let me laugh :)
and finally after so long, the hate has grown and has blossemed as i planned. spose sometimes you can play god. i love to laugh and joke at what becomes of these pieces of writing. if i write one blog 4 people react... and it's kinda funny for me. you think i mean you, but you think i mean you... why maybe i dont mean any of you maybe the person i mean doesnt read this, or maybe it's one of you... go on go and react to this one too let me see who is so concieted to still think this is all them.
secrets so many... choose your sides there is no neutral. thankyou... i guess, for making it clear... where your loyalty lies. After every word you said... and you supposedly think words are almighty... welll im sorry when i don't believe you when you let your words fall empty on rotten ground. love, to hate, to always being there, to choosing the other side... i've seen it before. who hasn't thankyou for proving your human. a play, a play on lives not words. so true... you like the ending i hope.. you win you know. but so do i. you see it's over before it began. but please by all means play it out for your fantasies sake... i dont mind falling now to let you go. words don't have acid, they don't carry love... it's how you read them that decides what they say... One day you'll see that. wish i could see your face then.
now we are foes.. so be it, so be it then... let all your friends be agreed... I'm wicked through and through since i canot succeed in getting through to you i promise no good deed will i attempt to do for you... ever again.
secrets so many... choose your sides there is no neutral. thankyou... i guess, for making it clear... where your loyalty lies. After every word you said... and you supposedly think words are almighty... welll im sorry when i don't believe you when you let your words fall empty on rotten ground. love, to hate, to always being there, to choosing the other side... i've seen it before. who hasn't thankyou for proving your human. a play, a play on lives not words. so true... you like the ending i hope.. you win you know. but so do i. you see it's over before it began. but please by all means play it out for your fantasies sake... i dont mind falling now to let you go. words don't have acid, they don't carry love... it's how you read them that decides what they say... One day you'll see that. wish i could see your face then.
now we are foes.. so be it, so be it then... let all your friends be agreed... I'm wicked through and through since i canot succeed in getting through to you i promise no good deed will i attempt to do for you... ever again.
Posted by
madsie
make-believe
Alone in a past, so cold it shouldn't last. I was hoping, and praying that you heard what i was saying. Knowing it was through and there was nothing I could do. made it hard to go on, and it took away my song. Hurting and scared, to know that you weren't there, Hurting and scared... to know that you didn't care.
To know the past is to remember and to learn. To know the present is to pay attention. And to know the future is to be a fool.
Things change, people change, beliefs, ideas and dreams change. let it be what it is, because that is how it must be. I;m no god, I'm no prophet and i don't pretend to be. We're just human so that is how we should be... i think that makes sense ... no? Believing in yourself so much you have become corrupt... Everyone has a life, and there is no way you can say that you know how someone else's life will turn out. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way i mean COME ON how much power are you saying you have by saying you know what their life will be like!? Why... you might as well be saying you're gods equal or better.
I mean sure, if you're that shallow... go ahead and stereotype your comrads... go ahead and label them with a stereotype and future... but don't be surprised when again and again you find yourself alone, when you think all you did was help. As a friend i say "step back..." or you will end up corrupt by false power, alone and verrry synical. As a human being living through your... well, your half empty glass life i say "get over it all and let it go" because no one likes to be labelled and you're not helping anyone... or making yourself look better. you look like a small child who has nothing better to do then stereotype people. i Mean cmon we all did that as kids... OOOO look piercings and wierd hair... mummy are they on drugs!? But now... aren't we all so much better then that? haven't we all come so far from those kids!? don't prove me wrong... again.
I'm not god, I'm just a girl witnessing your ruin.
To know the past is to remember and to learn. To know the present is to pay attention. And to know the future is to be a fool.
Things change, people change, beliefs, ideas and dreams change. let it be what it is, because that is how it must be. I;m no god, I'm no prophet and i don't pretend to be. We're just human so that is how we should be... i think that makes sense ... no? Believing in yourself so much you have become corrupt... Everyone has a life, and there is no way you can say that you know how someone else's life will turn out. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way i mean COME ON how much power are you saying you have by saying you know what their life will be like!? Why... you might as well be saying you're gods equal or better.
I mean sure, if you're that shallow... go ahead and stereotype your comrads... go ahead and label them with a stereotype and future... but don't be surprised when again and again you find yourself alone, when you think all you did was help. As a friend i say "step back..." or you will end up corrupt by false power, alone and verrry synical. As a human being living through your... well, your half empty glass life i say "get over it all and let it go" because no one likes to be labelled and you're not helping anyone... or making yourself look better. you look like a small child who has nothing better to do then stereotype people. i Mean cmon we all did that as kids... OOOO look piercings and wierd hair... mummy are they on drugs!? But now... aren't we all so much better then that? haven't we all come so far from those kids!? don't prove me wrong... again.
I'm not god, I'm just a girl witnessing your ruin.
Posted by
madsie
back at cha
one day i'll turn around and scream and then you won't know, you won't know what happened to, that little girl who used to let you, walk all over her. you know? that one who'd smile and tell you how, you were great, well listen now. A chocolate pipe, tempered right, does snap with an almighty sound. and that is she, the quiet girl in me, has snapped and is no longer around.
you weren't my favourite being, we knew this from the beginning... but still i tried and oh my yes, i lied... to make you feel like you were winning. For once in your life you had the chance, to feel on top of the world BUT YOU DIDN'T DANCE! Awefully sorry it hit you in the face my dear chum.
you weren't my favourite being, we knew this from the beginning... but still i tried and oh my yes, i lied... to make you feel like you were winning. For once in your life you had the chance, to feel on top of the world BUT YOU DIDN'T DANCE! Awefully sorry it hit you in the face my dear chum.
Posted by
madsie
watch this.
someone did ask me if i was a good person. Honestly, being me, I can't answer that for I don't know. But my answer i thought was fair, because I do think I am good. But I do know that I have realised that in letting everyone get whatever they want I'm wasting away my chances, and that's not good enough to me. So I know lately I haven't been as good to people. So my answer was; Only when it counts.
only when it counts. I have my life, and everyone else has there's. of course I understand, I mean, was i ever seeking good, or just seeking attention... it's a good question. Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?
bladidadiblah. i wish i had a point. and then this would be easier
only when it counts. I have my life, and everyone else has there's. of course I understand, I mean, was i ever seeking good, or just seeking attention... it's a good question. Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?
bladidadiblah. i wish i had a point. and then this would be easier
Posted by
madsie
ahmah
money money money. must be funny, in a rich mans world. *sigh* a young girl with a simple wish to be emersed in theatre. but money says no. I may admire him, and you may have similarities... but he is a man, you are a small, sad, pathetic immature boy. i knew i said i wouldn't, and people said i shouldn't but im tired of playing it cool, im tired of looking the fool.
Posted by
madsie
200th post
and there you have it folks another hundred posts. i need a life. they're not even interesting posts *sigh* lol.
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
shakespear destroys fairy tale endings and therefore isn't my favourite person in the world atm... but that statement is true and beautiful. people should learn to live by that... So many people lie to themselves about how their lives are and what they are etc... and therefore can't be true about themselves to other people.
i had a thought the other day, during a fight and i thought it was a good thought and that i'd write it down :)
i have been said to be crass and blunt... to care of only myself and not others in that i don't change myself to a situation at hand... well first of all i do thankyou all the same but anyway.
so i thought to myself, the person who said these things, walks through life with the soul aim of getting people to like them. and i thought, what a terrible way to be. I mean i live to please, parents, friends, teachers etc ofcourse but i don't live and change myself specifically to get someone to like me. and that's when i had my thought, and that thought was; i am like a magnet, and no... not in the 'everyone is drawn to me' way, but in the, 'I am me and i have a magnetic force, this can draw or repel people. as i walk through life it's like dragging a magnet across a desk top. some are plastic or paper or the wrong end of the magnet and either simply don't cling to the magnet as it passes or are repelled away. but the others, like paper clips etc which are magnetic are drawn to this magnet and stick to it. i see people should be like this magnet. walk through your life, and the right people WILL be drawn to you and will stick by you always, and the wrong people will not. instead of changing yourself when you're with different people so everyone starts off liking you and then later finding out who your true friends are by watching those plastics fall away.
it's hard to let it make sense on paper... but it sounded good in my head. anyway my point was, to be yourself... and that just came out as a good explanation. :)
Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing. Too late to go back to sleep! It's time to trust my instincts. Close my eyes, and leap!It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity, and you can't pull me down. Words that people should understand. But without turning wicked :P
I'm through accepting limits, 'Cuz someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but 'till I try, I'll never know. This, this two sentences are what i feel now, in a nutshell this is where im at. Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love, it comes at much to high a cost. Again this is how i feel, i lived to love and to be loved and that proved not to be what it was and now I'll try defying gravity, kiss me goodbye i'm defying gravity. to all the people that i hurt and all the choices they made i didn't like, i've had a change of heart and... I hope you're happy I really hope you get it, And you don't live to regret it.
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
shakespear destroys fairy tale endings and therefore isn't my favourite person in the world atm... but that statement is true and beautiful. people should learn to live by that... So many people lie to themselves about how their lives are and what they are etc... and therefore can't be true about themselves to other people.
i had a thought the other day, during a fight and i thought it was a good thought and that i'd write it down :)
i have been said to be crass and blunt... to care of only myself and not others in that i don't change myself to a situation at hand... well first of all i do thankyou all the same but anyway.
so i thought to myself, the person who said these things, walks through life with the soul aim of getting people to like them. and i thought, what a terrible way to be. I mean i live to please, parents, friends, teachers etc ofcourse but i don't live and change myself specifically to get someone to like me. and that's when i had my thought, and that thought was; i am like a magnet, and no... not in the 'everyone is drawn to me' way, but in the, 'I am me and i have a magnetic force, this can draw or repel people. as i walk through life it's like dragging a magnet across a desk top. some are plastic or paper or the wrong end of the magnet and either simply don't cling to the magnet as it passes or are repelled away. but the others, like paper clips etc which are magnetic are drawn to this magnet and stick to it. i see people should be like this magnet. walk through your life, and the right people WILL be drawn to you and will stick by you always, and the wrong people will not. instead of changing yourself when you're with different people so everyone starts off liking you and then later finding out who your true friends are by watching those plastics fall away.
it's hard to let it make sense on paper... but it sounded good in my head. anyway my point was, to be yourself... and that just came out as a good explanation. :)
Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing. Too late to go back to sleep! It's time to trust my instincts. Close my eyes, and leap!It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity, and you can't pull me down. Words that people should understand. But without turning wicked :P
I'm through accepting limits, 'Cuz someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but 'till I try, I'll never know. This, this two sentences are what i feel now, in a nutshell this is where im at. Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love, it comes at much to high a cost. Again this is how i feel, i lived to love and to be loved and that proved not to be what it was and now I'll try defying gravity, kiss me goodbye i'm defying gravity. to all the people that i hurt and all the choices they made i didn't like, i've had a change of heart and... I hope you're happy I really hope you get it, And you don't live to regret it.
Posted by
madsie
missing you
time goes on and winds will switch but still i will be missing you, songs are sung but the words do change, and still i go on missing you. Forever and a day Can pass before i could say that i'd never miss you again, i miss you always my friend.
memory, all alone in the moonlight, i can smile at the old days... i was beautiful then i remember a time i knew what happiness was... let the memory live again. someone mutters, a street lamp stutters and soon it will be morning... alone in the dark, no light... not a spark. It's faded till it's gone coz the place i have come from... is where i left it all to rest. Back here at the start i have finally found my heart... for it is where it should have been... but where i couldn't see. touch me, it's so easy to leave me, all alone with a memory... of my days in the sun, let the memory live again... but a new day has begun.
bag in my past, one that couldn't last, i know i have moved on, i have been for so long... but i stopped myself from seeing, the knew person i was being... and it hurts to now realise i was believing my own lies
memory, all alone in the moonlight, i can smile at the old days... i was beautiful then i remember a time i knew what happiness was... let the memory live again. someone mutters, a street lamp stutters and soon it will be morning... alone in the dark, no light... not a spark. It's faded till it's gone coz the place i have come from... is where i left it all to rest. Back here at the start i have finally found my heart... for it is where it should have been... but where i couldn't see. touch me, it's so easy to leave me, all alone with a memory... of my days in the sun, let the memory live again... but a new day has begun.
bag in my past, one that couldn't last, i know i have moved on, i have been for so long... but i stopped myself from seeing, the knew person i was being... and it hurts to now realise i was believing my own lies
Posted by
madsie
HELLO
hello loyal readers... yes it is I maddy... i am currently in melbourne! cold... wet... melbourne :P having an awesome time. Just a little check in cause i havent blogged for weelll ages... about the ossum stuff i've done so far.
Ok first off i was staying at my old neighbours house. so it was like being back on my street again and living there, except i was in my neighbours house and sum crazies were living in my garage... :S. yes welll, Ryan and Pat took me around Melbourne City and we speent the day getting lost and taking swine flu fotos. I managed to run into a star bucks by complete accident and started jumping around and demanded they let me go in... possibly now they think im wierd. We went down to St Kilda beach for sum swine flu fotos out on the pier... and yes i froze my ass off out there but the fotos look hot ;) It was a pretty cool day, we came back and i believe we might have played like buzz or sumthing, im not sure... and i saw my old babysitter which was kinda wierd. I must now admit to losing by ALOT at buzz :(
MOVIES. next day woopdeedoo we went and saw transformers. Which was quite awesome and yes we took some more swine flu photos in the cinema. And then we went crazy strike bowling. but before that we ended up with like 2 hours to waist and we found a little photo booth thing and took random photos for awhile... nothing wierd. Lots of photos and lots of fun, played singstar for a bit and got some lovely footage for my project, thanks guys :P some more buzz and yes i lost again... :(
last day at ryans. took some more photos outside my old house, and had to bail if someone turned up. off to jordies house. she took me up to Knox for the day and oh what random fun we had, We took random photos, had some coffee... saw richmond supporters being exterminated... tryd on ossum clothes, realised the new fashion coming in is dresses with zips at the front, very inviting no? And i met some of her friends and got some luvly photos :P
then at mels house... we ate popcorn (always excellent) and made pizza dough... welll she did and i tried to help :P Talked lots, lots of catching up to do you see... :P and that ended that day
next day i went out to see WICKED. and it was amazing! It was soooo good and i spent so much on murchandise... :D got some star bux pressies for people too (y) and took some funny fotos around the city with jordy. now back at mels preparing for a movie marathon day tomorrow (y) woo woo life is good
trahhh
Ok first off i was staying at my old neighbours house. so it was like being back on my street again and living there, except i was in my neighbours house and sum crazies were living in my garage... :S. yes welll, Ryan and Pat took me around Melbourne City and we speent the day getting lost and taking swine flu fotos. I managed to run into a star bucks by complete accident and started jumping around and demanded they let me go in... possibly now they think im wierd. We went down to St Kilda beach for sum swine flu fotos out on the pier... and yes i froze my ass off out there but the fotos look hot ;) It was a pretty cool day, we came back and i believe we might have played like buzz or sumthing, im not sure... and i saw my old babysitter which was kinda wierd. I must now admit to losing by ALOT at buzz :(
MOVIES. next day woopdeedoo we went and saw transformers. Which was quite awesome and yes we took some more swine flu photos in the cinema. And then we went crazy strike bowling. but before that we ended up with like 2 hours to waist and we found a little photo booth thing and took random photos for awhile... nothing wierd. Lots of photos and lots of fun, played singstar for a bit and got some lovely footage for my project, thanks guys :P some more buzz and yes i lost again... :(
last day at ryans. took some more photos outside my old house, and had to bail if someone turned up. off to jordies house. she took me up to Knox for the day and oh what random fun we had, We took random photos, had some coffee... saw richmond supporters being exterminated... tryd on ossum clothes, realised the new fashion coming in is dresses with zips at the front, very inviting no? And i met some of her friends and got some luvly photos :P
then at mels house... we ate popcorn (always excellent) and made pizza dough... welll she did and i tried to help :P Talked lots, lots of catching up to do you see... :P and that ended that day
next day i went out to see WICKED. and it was amazing! It was soooo good and i spent so much on murchandise... :D got some star bux pressies for people too (y) and took some funny fotos around the city with jordy. now back at mels preparing for a movie marathon day tomorrow (y) woo woo life is good
trahhh
Posted by
madsie
all i wanna do is find a way back into love
yes world... i have falled.
i swore i'd never love again but then pop goes my heart.
lyrics so true it makes me laugh.
I always feel like dancing, i always just wanna sing... i always smile whenever i ssee him. He makes me laugh along, he makes me need to be strong... he's keeping me above the water, no i dont wanna sink below the water... no more. It's a strange uplifting pull... to need to hold on so i can stay at his level. to not worry about how i look when i dance, to not worry about how i sound when i sing, and when i laugh instead of hitting that note. To not care about my hair, or how that stain got there... im happy to just be me, to smile and feel free. I feel the need to stay on top, to control myself, and never drop... but in a totally awesome way. keeping it together and i'll find my way
i swore i'd never love again but then pop goes my heart.
lyrics so true it makes me laugh.
I always feel like dancing, i always just wanna sing... i always smile whenever i ssee him. He makes me laugh along, he makes me need to be strong... he's keeping me above the water, no i dont wanna sink below the water... no more. It's a strange uplifting pull... to need to hold on so i can stay at his level. to not worry about how i look when i dance, to not worry about how i sound when i sing, and when i laugh instead of hitting that note. To not care about my hair, or how that stain got there... im happy to just be me, to smile and feel free. I feel the need to stay on top, to control myself, and never drop... but in a totally awesome way. keeping it together and i'll find my way
Posted by
madsie
pop goes my heart
I swore i'd never fall in love again but then pop goes my heart.
Sitting alone, all the others at home, i'm just trying to sort myself out, just trying to figure this life out.
Lying awake, but my heart it don't break cause im tired of letting myself down, im sick of the choices that brought you around.
you were a mistake, one i had to make, so i could be stronger, so i could belong here.
when i hit rock bottom The only way is up, can't go down so i turn around it's time to try my luck. I will never give up my right, my right to be wrong, it's what keeps me going strong.
For so long i saught you out, wishing you'd come about, hoping for your love and dreaming of your touch. thinking it's all ok, that was just yesterday, we could be ok, it wouldn't take too much. but if i didn't mean it then i wouldn't say it. Why am i writing this song. Pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away, Holding on to a love gone wrong just trying to get through another day... what am i tryna say? If i am over it somehow not thinking of you now then why... am i writing this song, if that was just yesterday and now it's all ok then why, am i writing this song. Pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away, holding on to a love gone wrong just tryna get through another day, Someone else's bliss can't live like this there's a life out there i know i'll miss... if im stuck like this. This time i let it go, wanted you to know, i was stronger and i had a whole new show. I say that i am fine and remember when you were mine, i say that im over it, that was another time. But if im so, sure of, my feelings, this time, then why... am i writing this song. If im so over, over it so past it gone from it then why, am i writing this song. if im so stronger, brighter then that girl who went to plan then why, am i writing this song. pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away. holding on to a love gone wrong just tryna get through another day, someone else's bliss cant live like this there's a life out there i know ill miss... if im stuck like this... If im so over over it so past it gone from it then why... can i not let go... If im so over over it so past it gone from it then why... am i writing this song, if im so stronger brighter then that girl who went to plan then why... am i writing this song, why... can i not let go, can i not let go... Lying here i dream of you i wander if you're dreaming too i know there's nothing i can do but i... i still love you.
Those are two songs i wrote once that have been buzzing around my head annoying me, so i thought i'd write them out. I can remember, for the second one at least the long days spent at the piano as i plunked it out and found it's melody. it's calming for me, to write a song... i'm not very good but i like it. Sittin there, putting my words and feelings to a melody that i find on the piano is one of the most magical things i do. i can remember fooling around on the guitar and piano trying to find the melody to suit this piece... i can remember every time i got annoyed, or tired or laughed or finally found the right note. it seems an age away now... and an age away i almost performed it, although that was in fact only last week. feelings, old memories... w/e Even though the lyrics don't stand true for me now... whenever i start to play the beginning chords to it on the piano every memory of those feelings comes flooding back... it's my gateway to part of my past. this is what music means to me, this is what my life is.
Sitting alone, all the others at home, i'm just trying to sort myself out, just trying to figure this life out.
Lying awake, but my heart it don't break cause im tired of letting myself down, im sick of the choices that brought you around.
you were a mistake, one i had to make, so i could be stronger, so i could belong here.
when i hit rock bottom The only way is up, can't go down so i turn around it's time to try my luck. I will never give up my right, my right to be wrong, it's what keeps me going strong.
For so long i saught you out, wishing you'd come about, hoping for your love and dreaming of your touch. thinking it's all ok, that was just yesterday, we could be ok, it wouldn't take too much. but if i didn't mean it then i wouldn't say it. Why am i writing this song. Pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away, Holding on to a love gone wrong just trying to get through another day... what am i tryna say? If i am over it somehow not thinking of you now then why... am i writing this song, if that was just yesterday and now it's all ok then why, am i writing this song. Pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away, holding on to a love gone wrong just tryna get through another day, Someone else's bliss can't live like this there's a life out there i know i'll miss... if im stuck like this. This time i let it go, wanted you to know, i was stronger and i had a whole new show. I say that i am fine and remember when you were mine, i say that im over it, that was another time. But if im so, sure of, my feelings, this time, then why... am i writing this song. If im so over, over it so past it gone from it then why, am i writing this song. if im so stronger, brighter then that girl who went to plan then why, am i writing this song. pushed away and my records play it's all i have when you walk away. holding on to a love gone wrong just tryna get through another day, someone else's bliss cant live like this there's a life out there i know ill miss... if im stuck like this... If im so over over it so past it gone from it then why... can i not let go... If im so over over it so past it gone from it then why... am i writing this song, if im so stronger brighter then that girl who went to plan then why... am i writing this song, why... can i not let go, can i not let go... Lying here i dream of you i wander if you're dreaming too i know there's nothing i can do but i... i still love you.
Those are two songs i wrote once that have been buzzing around my head annoying me, so i thought i'd write them out. I can remember, for the second one at least the long days spent at the piano as i plunked it out and found it's melody. it's calming for me, to write a song... i'm not very good but i like it. Sittin there, putting my words and feelings to a melody that i find on the piano is one of the most magical things i do. i can remember fooling around on the guitar and piano trying to find the melody to suit this piece... i can remember every time i got annoyed, or tired or laughed or finally found the right note. it seems an age away now... and an age away i almost performed it, although that was in fact only last week. feelings, old memories... w/e Even though the lyrics don't stand true for me now... whenever i start to play the beginning chords to it on the piano every memory of those feelings comes flooding back... it's my gateway to part of my past. this is what music means to me, this is what my life is.
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madsie
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