one thousand words couldn't say how i felt, four thousand words and my heart would not melt, one thousand words isn't good enough for me paint me a picture and I just might see.
paint me the moon and the stars up above, paint me some letters that spell out your love, I wanna see clearer I wanna see it all, I want you to prove that you're worth the major fall.
I could say sorry, I promise, I love you, I could read you the dictionary but what would that do. The pen is mightier than the sword is a quote that I admire and believe in... but words can only do so much. Anyone who can talk can say any words... putting truth behind those words is what really matters these days. And what never happens.
I wonder what I could say to you that would make you listen. I wonder what you could say to me that would make me pay attention. Love shouldn't need proof to be felt and believed in... but a bunch of words could mean anything at all.
I'm hooked on love, and so I ramble about anything. I'm in love, with my life, with the air and my everything and being in love is what makes it all worth it. so I'd say that's a pretty good reason for me to be so hooked.
0
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that love is something else entirely. And in my mind, it is a truth universally questioned, that love is good.
I ask, "but what is life without it?" And I often get the reply, "but what is life without anything we have grown accustomed to." I don't pretend to believe that everyone in this world is romantic, but really, what would life be like if love never existed at all?
Can you honestly say you have never fallen in love with some delectable little treat. Never loved a movie, never loved the taste of chocolate or loved thinking about a certain memory containing enjoyable experiances.
Does your life really forge ahead without an ounce of love to its name?
The question of love being good or bad is constantly under debate and will most probably always remain that way, but if I can sway even one persons mind to find the rapture hidden inside love... then I will sleep with a smile on my face.
I do know that I spend the majority of my time on here, complaining about my latest heart ache, and recently felt my heart break for the first time. But everyone's heart has to break for the first time, just as there is a first time for everything in life. In order for your heart to break, you must have opened yourself up to something so wonderful and so magical that it could hurt that much when it ended. No matter how I feel when it ends, no matter how many tears fall down my face I have never regretted feeling love for anyone, or anything.
Love is scary. Love hurts. and love can create our own personal Hells...
But as a wise someone once might have said.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."
I ask, "but what is life without it?" And I often get the reply, "but what is life without anything we have grown accustomed to." I don't pretend to believe that everyone in this world is romantic, but really, what would life be like if love never existed at all?
Can you honestly say you have never fallen in love with some delectable little treat. Never loved a movie, never loved the taste of chocolate or loved thinking about a certain memory containing enjoyable experiances.
Does your life really forge ahead without an ounce of love to its name?
The question of love being good or bad is constantly under debate and will most probably always remain that way, but if I can sway even one persons mind to find the rapture hidden inside love... then I will sleep with a smile on my face.
I do know that I spend the majority of my time on here, complaining about my latest heart ache, and recently felt my heart break for the first time. But everyone's heart has to break for the first time, just as there is a first time for everything in life. In order for your heart to break, you must have opened yourself up to something so wonderful and so magical that it could hurt that much when it ended. No matter how I feel when it ends, no matter how many tears fall down my face I have never regretted feeling love for anyone, or anything.
Love is scary. Love hurts. and love can create our own personal Hells...
But as a wise someone once might have said.
"The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return."
Posted by
madsie
I'll fix it up later
Anyone who knows me. None of these characters are anyone in my life :) they are all mixtures of everyone I know and not gender specific. I've taken the best and worst bits of everyone I know and created these people, so they do sound familiar but there's a little bit of everyone in them. no sexual jokes there
the start of this
The overture slowly faded and the lights began to rise on the stage. I felt my heart flutter in excitement as I switched my microphone to on. I faced the mirror and smiled as I saw the reflection of my best friend standing on the other side of the stage. Then the lights were on, the music started and in my mind I yelled, “Action!”
”Musical theatre isn’t just my hobby, it’s my life!”
“That’s all well and good, but what are you planning to do with your life after high school.”
Izzie sighed and tried to remember why she was bothering with this same old fight over and over again. Her friend Seth settled deeper into the beanbag he was sprawled across and chuckled to himself.
“I don’t see what’s so funny. You can clear out if you’re going to keep up like this.”
This brought on another wave of laughter as Seth struggled to get up out of the beanbag. He lent into her and tugged playfully on her hair.
“Aw I don’t mean it Suagh. You know I just love seeing you all hot and bothered over something you love.”
Izzie swung at him and then burst out laughing too.
Seth and Izzie had been friends for about 5 years now, but it was only in recent years that they had become so comfortably affectionate around each other. Izzie stretched out across the beanbag next to Seth, resting her head against his arm, “What’s life gonna be like when we’re done with school?”
“Depends if we’re done with school or if school’s just done with us.” Seth patted her head comfortingly, “we’ll just find out when we get there.”
At this they both fell silent and dozed off in the heat that the summer sun brought.
That night Izzie stood brushing her teeth and watching her reflection in the mirror carefully. She could never decide whether she was pretty or not and this frustrated her no end. She didn’t necessarily care what the answer was, it wouldn’t affect how her life played out, she just wanted to know. Her hair hung in loose curls around her face and shoulders. It was a perfect illustration of how indecisive she was about everything as it was three different colours. Blonde curls framed her face and highlighted her eyes with a sweeping side fringe. This blonde then faded into a light strawberry blonde which was lit up by the blackness of the final layers of her hair.
She shook her head and watched the curls dance around before ending her staring session, spitting into the sink and leaving the mirror. She never bothered to ponder the question of her prettiness for long, but would always comfort herself by saying, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and then trying to forget that she was currently without a ‘beholder.’
The next morning though, scarcely 8 hours later she found herself in front of the mirror again. Izzie certainly wasn’t vain or self-obsessed, just curious as to what she could achieve in any situation including grooming. She spent a good half hour straightening out all of her curls until her hair hung smooth and soft. She liked it better this way, although all her friends told her the liveliness of her curls suited her.
“Izzie! Don’t tell me you slept through again! For God’s sake girl, hurry up. School won’t...” The voice faded away as her mum bustled from room to room in the house. Izzie had a quick once over in the mirror, approved of what she saw and ran through the house collecting the school things she’d left scattered around for weeks. She dived into the car and sang out,
“Sorry I’m late, had a very important date!” And bent to tie her shoes.
“Izzie! Izzie!” Amanda ran up to the car as Izzie gently slid out and closed the door. “Izzie my dad’s letting me go to Tasmania for the summer holidays as a birthday present!”
Izzie laughed and hugged her friend tightly, skilfully looping a small pendant necklace around her neck.
“Happy Birthday you old foggie. I hope 16 is as sweet as they say it is.”
Amanda hugged her again, squealing in delight and Izzie laughed along, soaking up the good mood.
* * *
Ren stretched and yawned and pulled his jacket tighter. Although it was early summer, the mornings were still cool and leaning against brick walls didn’t help much. It was dull being at school so early for he didn’t keep many friends and therefore had to wait on his own for ages each morning until they arrived. He occupied himself by re-solving last night’s math homework.
The sound of yelling jerked him away from his thoughts and he looked up to see a girl from his year level, Amanda, running out to the drop off area. His eyes followed her line of flight and stopped on a small black car. He sighed as the sharp longing started inside him before the car door even opened. When it did, he watched as long, shapely legs swung out. At the base of the legs were feet encased in black and white converse. His eyes trailed up the legs, over the ample thighs to the short blue school skirt hanging loosely about half way down her thighs. He lingered here, picturing more than the eye could see and then started as a pair of soft white hands hurriedly brushed the skirt down. At this his gaze jumped to the girls’ face, worried she’d caught him staring. With a sigh of relief he said a quiet thank-you that she kept such loud friends who demanded so much of her attention. He watched as she laughed with Amanda, her soft eyes sparkling and her pink blossom lips pushing her face into a smile. He lent back and looked away and softly whispered, “Izzie... how did I let you go.”
“How did you let who go?” A cheery voice spoke up beside him. Ren turned to face Peter, one of his few friends, shook his head and looked away again. “Ah, there’s Izzie. Thought she didn’t get back till tomorrow. But I’m not complaining, perhaps she’s come back early to confess her undying love for me.” As Peter rambled on, half joking, half hoping, Ren sank further into his thoughts and the self-bashing that was going on in there.
Peter must have realised that Rens’ attention was elsewhere but still he continued to talk with tiresome optimism. Ren stood and waited for him before walking towards their math class. After a while he interrupted Peters’ story about Drama class having heard enough.
“Math homework easy for you?”
Peter paused for a second before regaining his conversational grounds and replying,
“Easy enough I should say.”
Glad that he finally had control over the conversation Ren quickly directed it towards YouTube and the latest internet meme. Subjects in which he could easily converse without paying much attention and hereby preventing any questions into how he was feeling. Peter was only too happy to oblige to the change of topic.
Seth sank into the chair next to Ren, arriving late as usual.
“Sup guys.”
“Ready for some hardcore mathematics sex?” Ren asked absentmindedly.
“Why so hardcore?” Seth was confused and looked to Peter instead for the answer. Ren didn’t care much. They could have their girly chit-chat. He wasn’t there for that.
“Alright class, Test 2 is in front of you. Please print your names on the front and then you may commence.”
Ren heard Seth groan beside him and decided he would top this test due to Seth being unprepared.
“Here we go. I’m gonna kick butt here.”
Seth shrugged it off but Ren dived into the test, needing to win.
Ren knew his need to win was crazy but to Ren his world was falling apart and his self-professed genius was the only thing left to give him any joy. Although nothing really traumatic had occurred he still managed to sink into depression. His parents were still married. His mother was a wonderful woman, loud and fun. His father did beat him from time to time and although this was terrible, couldn’t be the reason behind such deep depression. His mental health wasn’t very good these days but his pride helped him hide that well enough. Through his depression and draining health he had pushed away most friendships. This was something he complained about often, which aggravated Peter as he knew it was only because Ren attacked everyone that got close to him.
Seth nudged Ren awake at the end of the test.
“Dude, class is over.”
Ren stared down at his half finished paper and almost burst out into tears right there. He could’ve killed himself for falling asleep. Peter and Seth talked about the test as the three boys walked to next class. Ren sank into a sulk that would anger his friends for the next few days. He was notorious for his sulks and by now nobody wanted to put up with them anymore. Ren used this fact as part of his list of why his life was so bad.
the start of this
The overture slowly faded and the lights began to rise on the stage. I felt my heart flutter in excitement as I switched my microphone to on. I faced the mirror and smiled as I saw the reflection of my best friend standing on the other side of the stage. Then the lights were on, the music started and in my mind I yelled, “Action!”
”Musical theatre isn’t just my hobby, it’s my life!”
“That’s all well and good, but what are you planning to do with your life after high school.”
Izzie sighed and tried to remember why she was bothering with this same old fight over and over again. Her friend Seth settled deeper into the beanbag he was sprawled across and chuckled to himself.
“I don’t see what’s so funny. You can clear out if you’re going to keep up like this.”
This brought on another wave of laughter as Seth struggled to get up out of the beanbag. He lent into her and tugged playfully on her hair.
“Aw I don’t mean it Suagh. You know I just love seeing you all hot and bothered over something you love.”
Izzie swung at him and then burst out laughing too.
Seth and Izzie had been friends for about 5 years now, but it was only in recent years that they had become so comfortably affectionate around each other. Izzie stretched out across the beanbag next to Seth, resting her head against his arm, “What’s life gonna be like when we’re done with school?”
“Depends if we’re done with school or if school’s just done with us.” Seth patted her head comfortingly, “we’ll just find out when we get there.”
At this they both fell silent and dozed off in the heat that the summer sun brought.
That night Izzie stood brushing her teeth and watching her reflection in the mirror carefully. She could never decide whether she was pretty or not and this frustrated her no end. She didn’t necessarily care what the answer was, it wouldn’t affect how her life played out, she just wanted to know. Her hair hung in loose curls around her face and shoulders. It was a perfect illustration of how indecisive she was about everything as it was three different colours. Blonde curls framed her face and highlighted her eyes with a sweeping side fringe. This blonde then faded into a light strawberry blonde which was lit up by the blackness of the final layers of her hair.
She shook her head and watched the curls dance around before ending her staring session, spitting into the sink and leaving the mirror. She never bothered to ponder the question of her prettiness for long, but would always comfort herself by saying, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’ and then trying to forget that she was currently without a ‘beholder.’
The next morning though, scarcely 8 hours later she found herself in front of the mirror again. Izzie certainly wasn’t vain or self-obsessed, just curious as to what she could achieve in any situation including grooming. She spent a good half hour straightening out all of her curls until her hair hung smooth and soft. She liked it better this way, although all her friends told her the liveliness of her curls suited her.
“Izzie! Don’t tell me you slept through again! For God’s sake girl, hurry up. School won’t...” The voice faded away as her mum bustled from room to room in the house. Izzie had a quick once over in the mirror, approved of what she saw and ran through the house collecting the school things she’d left scattered around for weeks. She dived into the car and sang out,
“Sorry I’m late, had a very important date!” And bent to tie her shoes.
“Izzie! Izzie!” Amanda ran up to the car as Izzie gently slid out and closed the door. “Izzie my dad’s letting me go to Tasmania for the summer holidays as a birthday present!”
Izzie laughed and hugged her friend tightly, skilfully looping a small pendant necklace around her neck.
“Happy Birthday you old foggie. I hope 16 is as sweet as they say it is.”
Amanda hugged her again, squealing in delight and Izzie laughed along, soaking up the good mood.
* * *
Ren stretched and yawned and pulled his jacket tighter. Although it was early summer, the mornings were still cool and leaning against brick walls didn’t help much. It was dull being at school so early for he didn’t keep many friends and therefore had to wait on his own for ages each morning until they arrived. He occupied himself by re-solving last night’s math homework.
The sound of yelling jerked him away from his thoughts and he looked up to see a girl from his year level, Amanda, running out to the drop off area. His eyes followed her line of flight and stopped on a small black car. He sighed as the sharp longing started inside him before the car door even opened. When it did, he watched as long, shapely legs swung out. At the base of the legs were feet encased in black and white converse. His eyes trailed up the legs, over the ample thighs to the short blue school skirt hanging loosely about half way down her thighs. He lingered here, picturing more than the eye could see and then started as a pair of soft white hands hurriedly brushed the skirt down. At this his gaze jumped to the girls’ face, worried she’d caught him staring. With a sigh of relief he said a quiet thank-you that she kept such loud friends who demanded so much of her attention. He watched as she laughed with Amanda, her soft eyes sparkling and her pink blossom lips pushing her face into a smile. He lent back and looked away and softly whispered, “Izzie... how did I let you go.”
“How did you let who go?” A cheery voice spoke up beside him. Ren turned to face Peter, one of his few friends, shook his head and looked away again. “Ah, there’s Izzie. Thought she didn’t get back till tomorrow. But I’m not complaining, perhaps she’s come back early to confess her undying love for me.” As Peter rambled on, half joking, half hoping, Ren sank further into his thoughts and the self-bashing that was going on in there.
Peter must have realised that Rens’ attention was elsewhere but still he continued to talk with tiresome optimism. Ren stood and waited for him before walking towards their math class. After a while he interrupted Peters’ story about Drama class having heard enough.
“Math homework easy for you?”
Peter paused for a second before regaining his conversational grounds and replying,
“Easy enough I should say.”
Glad that he finally had control over the conversation Ren quickly directed it towards YouTube and the latest internet meme. Subjects in which he could easily converse without paying much attention and hereby preventing any questions into how he was feeling. Peter was only too happy to oblige to the change of topic.
Seth sank into the chair next to Ren, arriving late as usual.
“Sup guys.”
“Ready for some hardcore mathematics sex?” Ren asked absentmindedly.
“Why so hardcore?” Seth was confused and looked to Peter instead for the answer. Ren didn’t care much. They could have their girly chit-chat. He wasn’t there for that.
“Alright class, Test 2 is in front of you. Please print your names on the front and then you may commence.”
Ren heard Seth groan beside him and decided he would top this test due to Seth being unprepared.
“Here we go. I’m gonna kick butt here.”
Seth shrugged it off but Ren dived into the test, needing to win.
Ren knew his need to win was crazy but to Ren his world was falling apart and his self-professed genius was the only thing left to give him any joy. Although nothing really traumatic had occurred he still managed to sink into depression. His parents were still married. His mother was a wonderful woman, loud and fun. His father did beat him from time to time and although this was terrible, couldn’t be the reason behind such deep depression. His mental health wasn’t very good these days but his pride helped him hide that well enough. Through his depression and draining health he had pushed away most friendships. This was something he complained about often, which aggravated Peter as he knew it was only because Ren attacked everyone that got close to him.
Seth nudged Ren awake at the end of the test.
“Dude, class is over.”
Ren stared down at his half finished paper and almost burst out into tears right there. He could’ve killed himself for falling asleep. Peter and Seth talked about the test as the three boys walked to next class. Ren sank into a sulk that would anger his friends for the next few days. He was notorious for his sulks and by now nobody wanted to put up with them anymore. Ren used this fact as part of his list of why his life was so bad.
Posted by
madsie
know it
Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today
well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and
every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this
day.
well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and
every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this
day.
Posted by
madsie
type solves problems
we were perfectly imperfect, you were the harmony to every song I sang.
you're imperfectly amazing.
your imperfection made me love you.
your imperfection is what I missed when I blamed myself
you weren't perfect. and I'm worth something in this world
you're imperfectly amazing.
your imperfection made me love you.
your imperfection is what I missed when I blamed myself
you weren't perfect. and I'm worth something in this world
Posted by
madsie
don't wish, don't start
It's not enough to just not want me... I all but begged you to let me down gentley.
For once in your life, be a man. Just tell me the words cause I know that you can. Don't leave me with scars that no one can heal...
I asked you for once in your life to be a man.
and you told me what I wished for instead.
It's not enough to dream, to want... making wishes doesn't make it so. No, making wishes gives the world the ability to taunt you, to tease you... to take away from you.
For once in your life, be a man. Just tell me the words cause I know that you can. Don't leave me with scars that no one can heal...
I asked you for once in your life to be a man.
and you told me what I wished for instead.
It's not enough to dream, to want... making wishes doesn't make it so. No, making wishes gives the world the ability to taunt you, to tease you... to take away from you.
Posted by
madsie
the way you make me feel
Old man sunshine listen you! Never tell me dreams come true, just try it. And I'll start a riot. Beatrice Farefax don't you dare, ever tell me he will care! I'm certain, it's the final curtain.
I never wanna hear from any cheerful Pollyannas, Who tell you fate, supplies a mate. It's all bananas.
They're writing songs of love :)... but not for me. A lucky star's above. But not for me. With love to lead the way I've found more skies of grey than any Russian play can guarantee.
... I was a fool to fall, and get that way. Hey Ho! Alas! and also lack-a-day... although I can't dismiss the memory of his kiss... I guess he's not for me.
I never wanna hear from any cheerful Pollyannas, Who tell you fate, supplies a mate. It's all bananas.
They're writing songs of love :)... but not for me. A lucky star's above. But not for me. With love to lead the way I've found more skies of grey than any Russian play can guarantee.
... I was a fool to fall, and get that way. Hey Ho! Alas! and also lack-a-day... although I can't dismiss the memory of his kiss... I guess he's not for me.
Posted by
madsie
in my world
I've met someone who makes me feel sea sick, oh what a skill to have yes what a skill to have.
Posted by
madsie
When all is said and done
I really don't know what I want to say, or to whom I wish to say it. But I feel like I have to say something, though I know some people wish I wouldn't.
I s'pose learning more about what love is and how it can be can do these things to a person.
And this isn't romantic, someone else has already captured that side of my love. This isn't brotherly, I'm not comfortable with you like that. This isn't a love you'd have for a cute cuddly little animal... I don't see you as cute and cuddly sorry.
nevertheless... it's something.
I don't love you, but you hold some string that's attached to me somewhere very central. And every now and then, a little tug from you sends me flailing... and I don't know why I let you?
I'd like to see you be like everyone else. Commit me to your memory... and leave me as only that. I'd like to see you go off, be happy... forget about me. But I wish you wouldn't each time I see you go to do so. And I don't know why I care.
I'm not being proud I promise. I have admirers and mostly they tire me or upset me. I don't really care for compliments or anything unless they come from certain people. So please don't think for one second I miss the attentions only.
Once upon a time it upset me because I thought you were bullshit like every other guy. But after this time I s'pose I was wrong. You do flit though... which is normal and I'm happy about that :P
This had to be said. Not that I said or clarified much... pay no attention. Just go out and find that looker you've been needing for awhile now. I hope for your sake she's pretty so you can describe her as so :P I hope she loves you and doesn't play you or leave you or bullshit you.
I hope she's nothing like me, I imagine I'd destroy you
I s'pose learning more about what love is and how it can be can do these things to a person.
And this isn't romantic, someone else has already captured that side of my love. This isn't brotherly, I'm not comfortable with you like that. This isn't a love you'd have for a cute cuddly little animal... I don't see you as cute and cuddly sorry.
nevertheless... it's something.
I don't love you, but you hold some string that's attached to me somewhere very central. And every now and then, a little tug from you sends me flailing... and I don't know why I let you?
I'd like to see you be like everyone else. Commit me to your memory... and leave me as only that. I'd like to see you go off, be happy... forget about me. But I wish you wouldn't each time I see you go to do so. And I don't know why I care.
I'm not being proud I promise. I have admirers and mostly they tire me or upset me. I don't really care for compliments or anything unless they come from certain people. So please don't think for one second I miss the attentions only.
Once upon a time it upset me because I thought you were bullshit like every other guy. But after this time I s'pose I was wrong. You do flit though... which is normal and I'm happy about that :P
This had to be said. Not that I said or clarified much... pay no attention. Just go out and find that looker you've been needing for awhile now. I hope for your sake she's pretty so you can describe her as so :P I hope she loves you and doesn't play you or leave you or bullshit you.
I hope she's nothing like me, I imagine I'd destroy you
Posted by
madsie
how
how do I stop seeing you as shallow.
How do I just make you go away
How do I stop caring about things you say
How do I work out what I want from you
How is it so easy to leave me
How do I just make you go away
How do I stop caring about things you say
How do I work out what I want from you
How is it so easy to leave me
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
Gosh I love a man who looks spastic in a suit
And who steals from the rich and gives to the poor
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought #6
A picture that makes me happy.
I'm sure there are many, but the first that comes to mind is the small strip of photos I have with Pat and Ryan from our trip to the photobooth. We look so happy and it was such a fun time :P It's just a happy sort of brilliance
I'm sure there are many, but the first that comes to mind is the small strip of photos I have with Pat and Ryan from our trip to the photobooth. We look so happy and it was such a fun time :P It's just a happy sort of brilliance
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
Gosh I REALLY love those men with the model looks
Who finally became sexy after puberty :P
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
And who's not afraid to express himself
In a sexy way:P
Posted by
madsie
just a thought #6
Well todays is whatever tickles my fancy. I'm going to skip it,
Kthnxbai
Kthnxbai
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought $5
So... this is actually yesterdays challenge.. but I wanted to put it off and then I fell asleep and so it ended. But yeah, I'm not going to choose a favourite quote because quotes are so amazing to me and I couldn't choose just one because it's like choosing a motto for my life and I have so many. I get emailed a quote everyday in fact so that I always have a new meaningful quote :P so sorry
Posted by
madsie
what is it?
What is beauty, and how do I achieve it.
What is heartbreak, and how do I avoid it.
What is love, and how do I draw it to me.
What is friendship, and how do I maintain it.
What's a scene, and how do I create one.
Why is beauty in the eye of the beholder... and how do I make you see me.
?
What is heartbreak, and how do I avoid it.
What is love, and how do I draw it to me.
What is friendship, and how do I maintain it.
What's a scene, and how do I create one.
Why is beauty in the eye of the beholder... and how do I make you see me.
?
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
Gosh I love a man who loves to laugh
And has a sort of, Godliness to him :P
Posted by
madsie
no one cares
No one cares, no one cares what you do.
Why have I stopped caring, when did I start crying... I can't go a whole fricking day without crying now... I used to pride myself on never crying and now I feel like my world is falling apart. Little things like food, gone. Big things like being able to sleep through the night, walk in a straight line cause your head isn't dizzy and to not die whenever your stomach is upset.
Energy gone -_-... I would like to give up, I won't of course. I'll just keep complaining until I get the balls to shut up and keep going. I just want someone to tell me, this is what's wrong with you, this is what we're going to do and this is when you'll feel better again. And until that happens I just want someone to cuddle up to me and say, "it's going to be ok you know whatever happens we can work through it you're ok and I couldn't love you any other way"
Why have I stopped caring, when did I start crying... I can't go a whole fricking day without crying now... I used to pride myself on never crying and now I feel like my world is falling apart. Little things like food, gone. Big things like being able to sleep through the night, walk in a straight line cause your head isn't dizzy and to not die whenever your stomach is upset.
Energy gone -_-... I would like to give up, I won't of course. I'll just keep complaining until I get the balls to shut up and keep going. I just want someone to tell me, this is what's wrong with you, this is what we're going to do and this is when you'll feel better again. And until that happens I just want someone to cuddle up to me and say, "it's going to be ok you know whatever happens we can work through it you're ok and I couldn't love you any other way"
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought #4
Favourite Book,
Well I can definately safely say it isn't the road.
hmm I'm torn, again, between; Prophecy of the Gems, Lady Knight and something classicy like narnia stories or little women oh man I do not knoww I love books way too much. A story is a wonderful thing :D
Well I can definately safely say it isn't the road.
hmm I'm torn, again, between; Prophecy of the Gems, Lady Knight and something classicy like narnia stories or little women oh man I do not knoww I love books way too much. A story is a wonderful thing :D
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
Gosh I love a man who knows how to have fun
And enjoys short naps :P
Posted by
madsie
Bored
I felt that my blog was getting a little dull and having those photos of my man of the day was starting to make it look funky :D so... you're now going to have to put up with random photos of the day as well... this is really my photo of the yesterday but it's so awesome I think it can count for two days :D Also I would like it to be noted that this photograph was taken in the middle of the food court at the shopping centre... before I threw my drink on the floor, and I think that makes it a little more awesome :D
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought #3
My favourite television program...
Oh dear, I really don't know my favourite anythings, this was probably a bad challenge for me :S
I'm quite torn between Glee, The Nanny and I Dream of Jeannie, oh oh oh and Dr Who can't forget my man of the day for yesterday!
That's about it for that :)
Oh dear, I really don't know my favourite anythings, this was probably a bad challenge for me :S
I'm quite torn between Glee, The Nanny and I Dream of Jeannie, oh oh oh and Dr Who can't forget my man of the day for yesterday!
That's about it for that :)
Posted by
madsie
man of the day
Gosh I love an athletic man
With a gorgeous face
Just look at that staree
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought #2
My favourite movie.
Ah yes, indecisive me is being asked to pick my favourite things -_-.
I think as of recently Moulin Rouge may have become my favourite movie. Maybe because of memories tied to it. Maybe because of that day, maybe because of the play... I don't know. I love a lot of movies but Moulin Rouge is just a little bit special :P
Yes it's definately tied to a memory, but I'll keep that memory for myself instead of blubbing on about something so insignificant here :P
Ah yes, indecisive me is being asked to pick my favourite things -_-.
I think as of recently Moulin Rouge may have become my favourite movie. Maybe because of memories tied to it. Maybe because of that day, maybe because of the play... I don't know. I love a lot of movies but Moulin Rouge is just a little bit special :P
Yes it's definately tied to a memory, but I'll keep that memory for myself instead of blubbing on about something so insignificant here :P
Posted by
madsie
Just a thought #1
My favourite song.
I believe they may have started with the most difficult one for me. My world wouldn't be the place it is without music and so I will find it very hard to choose just one song that sits up above the rest.
I know one song that has touched my heart and stayed there, stronger then any others... I don't know if it's my favourite but it's certaintly something.
Remember Me This Way - Jordan Hill
I imagine this song means many different songs to me now and could be sung to many different people from me. But it originated from my friend Ash. One day... not any different to any other time we hung out, we were watching Casper. I can't remember which one but there you go... Casper (L) And the last scene, at the dance, before Casper has to return to being a ghost he dances with Kat and this song is playing through the speakers.
Ash kissed me and he told me we must always remember each other this way, especially when we are old and have lost all of our 'jollyness'. I s'pose this is where I should say that was ironic... but all I can say is that that song has somehow always stayed with me.
There are many more songs that mean something to me, Seasons of Love pops into my mind but I won't waste this blog mentioning them all.
I believe they may have started with the most difficult one for me. My world wouldn't be the place it is without music and so I will find it very hard to choose just one song that sits up above the rest.
I know one song that has touched my heart and stayed there, stronger then any others... I don't know if it's my favourite but it's certaintly something.
Remember Me This Way - Jordan Hill
I imagine this song means many different songs to me now and could be sung to many different people from me. But it originated from my friend Ash. One day... not any different to any other time we hung out, we were watching Casper. I can't remember which one but there you go... Casper (L) And the last scene, at the dance, before Casper has to return to being a ghost he dances with Kat and this song is playing through the speakers.
Ash kissed me and he told me we must always remember each other this way, especially when we are old and have lost all of our 'jollyness'. I s'pose this is where I should say that was ironic... but all I can say is that that song has somehow always stayed with me.
There are many more songs that mean something to me, Seasons of Love pops into my mind but I won't waste this blog mentioning them all.
Posted by
madsie
New beginnings
So, I've managed to finish my 30 day letter challenge so I've decided to start a new 30 day challenge... It's just about blogging, not letters to anyone... probably just about describing each thingo... not sure didn't find any instructions. But we'll see how we go :)
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #30
Deay My Reflection In The Mirror.
I think this about says it all.
There's a girl in my mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her, sometimes I really wish I did. There's a story in her eyes lullabys and goodbyes when she's looking back at meI can tell her heart is broken easily. Cause the girl in my mirror is crying tonight, and there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright. If I could I woudl tell her, not to be afraid. The pain that she's feeling, the sense of lonliness will fade so dry your tears and rest assured love will find you like before, when she's looking back at me, I know nothing really works that easily.
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am though I've tried when will my reflection show Who I am inside?
I think this about says it all.
There's a girl in my mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her, sometimes I really wish I did. There's a story in her eyes lullabys and goodbyes when she's looking back at meI can tell her heart is broken easily. Cause the girl in my mirror is crying tonight, and there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright. If I could I woudl tell her, not to be afraid. The pain that she's feeling, the sense of lonliness will fade so dry your tears and rest assured love will find you like before, when she's looking back at me, I know nothing really works that easily.
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am though I've tried when will my reflection show Who I am inside?
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #29
Dear Person I Want To Tell Everything Too But Am Too Afraid To,
Dear you again,
I'd love to tell you everything... I'd love to share that sort of relationship with you. I probably could talk to you about almost anything but I could never tell you out right how I felt without some proof that I won't beleft in the cold so therefore I am too afraid to tell you everything. I don't want to print it here in this letter, I don't want to imagine how conversations on this topic could go. I'd just like things to straighten out and to be able to be like thataround you. One day I'll have the guts to say things like this
Dear you again,
I'd love to tell you everything... I'd love to share that sort of relationship with you. I probably could talk to you about almost anything but I could never tell you out right how I felt without some proof that I won't beleft in the cold so therefore I am too afraid to tell you everything. I don't want to print it here in this letter, I don't want to imagine how conversations on this topic could go. I'd just like things to straighten out and to be able to be like thataround you. One day I'll have the guts to say things like this
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #28
Dear Someone That Changed My Life,
Dear Matt Bell,
This will probably be awkward but whatever...Sup Bell, you changed my life. So far I believe for the better :) Until year 8 I didn't believe that taking classes like drama or following a career on that path was even possible. Dare To Promise was the first time I'd ever done anythingseriously like that and it was so much fun. You are an amazing teacher and you give us so many oportunities and I have to say I don't believe I would be as enthusiastic about acting etc if it wasn't for you. You've possibly changedthe whole future of my life from a boring office job to something I'm going to love doing, so thankss.
That is all.
Dear Matt Bell,
This will probably be awkward but whatever...Sup Bell, you changed my life. So far I believe for the better :) Until year 8 I didn't believe that taking classes like drama or following a career on that path was even possible. Dare To Promise was the first time I'd ever done anythingseriously like that and it was so much fun. You are an amazing teacher and you give us so many oportunities and I have to say I don't believe I would be as enthusiastic about acting etc if it wasn't for you. You've possibly changedthe whole future of my life from a boring office job to something I'm going to love doing, so thankss.
That is all.
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #27
Dear The Friendliest Person I knew For Only One Day,
Dear Paige,
Long time since I've thought much about you dear Paige I hate to admit it, but I do have my little flash backs whilst flipping through the photo album :) Fiji, one of my most favourite places is where I met you... Do you remember? I doubt you'd remember my name even if you did remember me. Let me refresh your memory. Have you ever tried to ride a two person bike since? I don't think we can even admit that we properly rode it that day but no one need know ;P. I would have known you for more than a day had the rain not come. We had that two day trail ride planned up the mountains remember? But we hadto settle for a race on horses along the beach... that was pretty fantastic though :P And the beach and the pool.... omg I don't think I've ever done so much in one day. Getting our hair braided god that fucking hurt haha What else did we do? Oh yeah, that stupid kids club, gosh we tried so hard to get out of that, the frog race LOL i almost knelt on your frog! I'm sure there was more stuff but that's all I can remember after this long
You were so friendly and it was an awesome day :D
Posted by
madsie
that little bit harder
Life just got a little bit harder... A little bit sadder on the sad days... just a bit more difficult in many many ways.
food we take for granted... wheat we don't even notice... what is left that I can eat without having to think about it? Everything I have to look at first and almost everything I have to find another version of. Goats milk... Vegan cheese... Rye bread... all those things that nobody enjoys eating. My family has to eat around me now... rice based pasta? wtf is that.
Thanks body... nice to know you'd stick by me and stay strong -_-
food we take for granted... wheat we don't even notice... what is left that I can eat without having to think about it? Everything I have to look at first and almost everything I have to find another version of. Goats milk... Vegan cheese... Rye bread... all those things that nobody enjoys eating. My family has to eat around me now... rice based pasta? wtf is that.
Thanks body... nice to know you'd stick by me and stay strong -_-
Posted by
madsie
You don't know how many times I cried because of you
Complain, we all do it. Complaining, we all hate it. I believe I complain more than I should and definately about things that I shouldn't... And that's why I use this blog... so I don't look as spoiled as I probably am :P
But I cop so much shit from this guy liking me, I have so many people judging me and telling me I'm a bitch cause I just won't go out with him...
I have people giving me shit because of stuff I did with an ex boyfriend. I have people asking me why... and all I can say is I have no idea... ask him what sort of mind game he played with me to make me do it.
I have year 11s giving me shit because I'm a theatre nerd and have Gleek on the back of my jumper... seriously guys...
I have a father who likes to lash out for fun...
I have scars to show for past battles.
Like everyone else there are people in my life that make my life harder... that make it suck just that little bit more. But they never apologise, some of them don't even get exactly how much they upset me. Probably because you wouldn't think good things should upset me... But not everything is good from every point of view.
I mean that guy I mentioned before... I get that I fucked up his feelings, I get that I caused a shit load of pain unintentionaly... I used to hate myself because of it. Where I wish now for courage to go for what I want, I used to wish that I would like like him... I used to bash myself up in my head trying to figure out why the fuck I didn't like him when he was like...
Ok I put myself through shit for that too. My ex... I hated myself for almost every day I spent with him, I beat myself up over him as well. He laughed. I don't know what the fuck he did to me but I was completely dedicated to him, just like all those other girls -_-.
I'm just trying to live for myself now and stay away from everyone who demands something from me. I don't want to keep letting people down and therefore hating myself again. I love being me, I love my friends and I'm even beginning to love where I am. But an apology from the people trying to drag me down would help a lot... I know I'm not going to get it... I know you don't even know... I know it looks like I'm the one causing the pain...
The balls in your court now.
But I cop so much shit from this guy liking me, I have so many people judging me and telling me I'm a bitch cause I just won't go out with him...
I have people giving me shit because of stuff I did with an ex boyfriend. I have people asking me why... and all I can say is I have no idea... ask him what sort of mind game he played with me to make me do it.
I have year 11s giving me shit because I'm a theatre nerd and have Gleek on the back of my jumper... seriously guys...
I have a father who likes to lash out for fun...
I have scars to show for past battles.
Like everyone else there are people in my life that make my life harder... that make it suck just that little bit more. But they never apologise, some of them don't even get exactly how much they upset me. Probably because you wouldn't think good things should upset me... But not everything is good from every point of view.
I mean that guy I mentioned before... I get that I fucked up his feelings, I get that I caused a shit load of pain unintentionaly... I used to hate myself because of it. Where I wish now for courage to go for what I want, I used to wish that I would like like him... I used to bash myself up in my head trying to figure out why the fuck I didn't like him when he was like...
Ok I put myself through shit for that too. My ex... I hated myself for almost every day I spent with him, I beat myself up over him as well. He laughed. I don't know what the fuck he did to me but I was completely dedicated to him, just like all those other girls -_-.
I'm just trying to live for myself now and stay away from everyone who demands something from me. I don't want to keep letting people down and therefore hating myself again. I love being me, I love my friends and I'm even beginning to love where I am. But an apology from the people trying to drag me down would help a lot... I know I'm not going to get it... I know you don't even know... I know it looks like I'm the one causing the pain...
The balls in your court now.
Posted by
madsie
if you don't like the word fuck, don't read this
Im not asking for much, just the guts to go for what I want. I don't want to wish him to like me, no I just want to be good enough for him to like me on his own terms because it seems I can't be at the moment. one mother fucking guy has my heart. Well I hope he doesnt fuck mothers. I don't look anywhere else ffs. I see people... where other people want them so badly... more than one might I point out. And they're like yeah w/e. and then complain about not having a love life. It makes me want to fucking kill everyone. People gave me so much shit because I didn't give this one guy a chance. well hello fucking world I did. I even fell for him at one stage so fuck you it wasn't me that fucked that one up. So yeah we know about that, other than that I have a friends boyfriend thinking I'm a whore when he's drunk and a guy in Melbourne begging me to come over and fuck him. No one actually gives adamn about me at all, they just think my display picture on facebook/msn is hot. I am so sick of this shit. I have friends and they care about me so much and Im like yey! but I'm libran so i'm sorry that that just isnt enough to satisfy mylust for love. When I say no one, I mean guys... and I mean guys interested in me in any way other than friendship ok. And I know I have a lot going for me in life I just needed to explode for a second before my head popped.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #26
Dear The Last Person I Pinky Promised,
Well... Dear... well, I really have no idea. it's been so long since I pinky promised anyone... I don't even remember. Lol waste of a letter I think
Well... Dear... well, I really have no idea. it's been so long since I pinky promised anyone... I don't even remember. Lol waste of a letter I think
Posted by
madsie
Alien
If I can't sing... what am I. If I don't work properly... what am I.
I know I've worn out my welcome with that complaint...
I know I should get over not being able to sing Moulin Rouge.
But then again I know a lot of things that I can't do.
I don't even feel like complaining... I'd just rather cry, but crying on my own makes it all feel a lot worse.
the words fml come to mind. I want to scream and punch something and throw myself out the window. and then i feel guilty for wanting this... wtf is wrong with me I have a good life. Sure I've already failed at being a woman. Sure I've already pre-failed at having a family. Sure for some reason I'm not allowed to be able to sing Satines songs from Moulin Rouge. But fuck I'm alive aren't I? I have friends and a family at the moment don't I?
In my room it's like,
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl... the girl who has everything. Look at this trove treasures untold. how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you'd think. Sure, she's got everything. I've got gadgets and gismos of plenty, I've got hoozits and whatsits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got 20... But who cares no big deal... I want more.
I apologise for complaining, don't hit me with a rock
I know I've worn out my welcome with that complaint...
I know I should get over not being able to sing Moulin Rouge.
But then again I know a lot of things that I can't do.
I don't even feel like complaining... I'd just rather cry, but crying on my own makes it all feel a lot worse.
the words fml come to mind. I want to scream and punch something and throw myself out the window. and then i feel guilty for wanting this... wtf is wrong with me I have a good life. Sure I've already failed at being a woman. Sure I've already pre-failed at having a family. Sure for some reason I'm not allowed to be able to sing Satines songs from Moulin Rouge. But fuck I'm alive aren't I? I have friends and a family at the moment don't I?
In my room it's like,
Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl... the girl who has everything. Look at this trove treasures untold. how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you'd think. Sure, she's got everything. I've got gadgets and gismos of plenty, I've got hoozits and whatsits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got 20... But who cares no big deal... I want more.
I apologise for complaining, don't hit me with a rock
Posted by
madsie
rambles so no one has to listen
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right nowwwwww. The world keeps giving me so many things, and I feel like a spoilt little brat because I'd hand em all back for just one thing. I made deals of I'll put up with ALL of the bad stuff for that one thing... and I thought that was more than fair because what one person is worth all the bad shit in your life. Well it's worth that to me... and the world kinda turned around and said... no you just have to put up with it wtf do you think life is? so OK already. But I don't want compensation either. Take back the bed take away my job make me live in music class just give me this one thing that i have been longing for. I don't want to sound spoileddddddddddddddd. I don't want to be spoiled either but, I had a taste of a wonderful thing and I never wanna give it up.
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #25
Dear The Person Who I Know Is Going Through The Worst Of Times,
Dear Mary,
I was going to write to you for the person I'd most like to meet, but I would feel so... I don't know, useless maybe? Or humbled... or omg I couldn't do anything at allI don't even know what times you're going through... I wish I knew more. I even wish you knew me. I know you learnt to write my name and you've written me a hello a couple of times. I have a small box in the bottom of one of my draws that's filled with half written letters to you. I wanted so badly to just say hi... ask how you were, learn about your life... You're pretty much my ageand your life probably couldn't get any more different to mine and it blows my mind to think about the fact that everything I hear in talks at school and things like that is actually your reality. I can't believe I'm going to lose any chance of getting to know you really soon... I can't believe you're going to have to tough it on your own. I'm hoping that they told me it wasn't until you were 18 but I have a bad feeling it was 16. I can't even begin to imagine what you're life will be like when you're on your own at 16 with almost nothing to help you through. I still have that little ring you madefor us, it was so pretty I'm so proud of you. I hope that we have made a difference in your life somehow.
Mary I feel ashamed to even write this letter to you here... I'm so sorry I never tried to post those letters
Dear Mary,
I was going to write to you for the person I'd most like to meet, but I would feel so... I don't know, useless maybe? Or humbled... or omg I couldn't do anything at allI don't even know what times you're going through... I wish I knew more. I even wish you knew me. I know you learnt to write my name and you've written me a hello a couple of times. I have a small box in the bottom of one of my draws that's filled with half written letters to you. I wanted so badly to just say hi... ask how you were, learn about your life... You're pretty much my ageand your life probably couldn't get any more different to mine and it blows my mind to think about the fact that everything I hear in talks at school and things like that is actually your reality. I can't believe I'm going to lose any chance of getting to know you really soon... I can't believe you're going to have to tough it on your own. I'm hoping that they told me it wasn't until you were 18 but I have a bad feeling it was 16. I can't even begin to imagine what you're life will be like when you're on your own at 16 with almost nothing to help you through. I still have that little ring you madefor us, it was so pretty I'm so proud of you. I hope that we have made a difference in your life somehow.
Mary I feel ashamed to even write this letter to you here... I'm so sorry I never tried to post those letters
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #24
Dear Person Who Gave Me My Favourite Memory,
Dear Cas,
I don't know what memory it was exactly. But you are my favourite memory and I'm so glad that you're not just a memory. Granny Evols house has become one of my few favourite places and there are so many fantastic memories there, almost all invlolving you. We have like the greatest time ever and I miss you so much -_- two years is way too long to wait to see you again. The days when we used to pretend to be mermaids in Grannys pooloh that was pretty awesome. and your 'friend' Ruby had to hang out with us for that whole day and you hated her so much. We wouldn't let her be a mermaid or sit with us in the car haha your mum was so angry. The last time I visitedthings weren't too great for you in matters of the heart, not for me either. that DnM on the trampoline was fantastic :D need one again soon I believe. And there was that strange little park just down the road from Grannys, and when i say just down the road i ofcourse mean a country road so quite a way down. with all the tin stuff it was really hot.yeah i miss you mannnnnnn i want december to hurry up!
Dear Cas,
I don't know what memory it was exactly. But you are my favourite memory and I'm so glad that you're not just a memory. Granny Evols house has become one of my few favourite places and there are so many fantastic memories there, almost all invlolving you. We have like the greatest time ever and I miss you so much -_- two years is way too long to wait to see you again. The days when we used to pretend to be mermaids in Grannys pooloh that was pretty awesome. and your 'friend' Ruby had to hang out with us for that whole day and you hated her so much. We wouldn't let her be a mermaid or sit with us in the car haha your mum was so angry. The last time I visitedthings weren't too great for you in matters of the heart, not for me either. that DnM on the trampoline was fantastic :D need one again soon I believe. And there was that strange little park just down the road from Grannys, and when i say just down the road i ofcourse mean a country road so quite a way down. with all the tin stuff it was really hot.yeah i miss you mannnnnnn i want december to hurry up!
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #23
Dear The Last Person I kissed,
Dear S,
Yeah hi again... you turn up a lot. what else do I say to you hmmm. Well I spose I can relive the fact that you're the last person I kissed and the last time we kissed was for a photo shoot as promotion for our school play. That's right Mr S my life is so depressing that the last person I've kissed in like 2 years has been for a school play. Spose it's a good thing you're not a bad kisser then hahaha. Well, I don't have much more to say here... I hope I'm not a bad kisser seeing as you got stuck hooking up with me ;P Goodluck for the school play (Y)
Dear S,
Yeah hi again... you turn up a lot. what else do I say to you hmmm. Well I spose I can relive the fact that you're the last person I kissed and the last time we kissed was for a photo shoot as promotion for our school play. That's right Mr S my life is so depressing that the last person I've kissed in like 2 years has been for a school play. Spose it's a good thing you're not a bad kisser then hahaha. Well, I don't have much more to say here... I hope I'm not a bad kisser seeing as you got stuck hooking up with me ;P Goodluck for the school play (Y)
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #22
Dear Someone I Want To Give A Second Chance To,
Dear S,
I s'pose it's just you. Anyone else who's hurt me I either got over or they apologised/ we fixed it, or I don't want to give them the second chance.
You were a bastard last year, and you probably didn't even know it haha. You realllllly upset me for a while... but it was because I read into things that weren't there, not because you tried to hurt me. But I mean, you do things I don't like and I s'pose I could say I'm giving you a second chance for those things. I'm not sure though if I'm giving you this chance to change, or for me to change my outlook and accept them. I want to give you a second chance for being a player, but that's not really my chance to give seeing as nothing really ever happened between us... I don't get to complain... I don't get to pretend you cared :P
I really want to give me a second chance, a second chance at going for you... one where I actually have the guts to go for you... instead of hoping you'll look up and notice me out of your own free will because that just simply isn't working for me at the moment. I get days when I think... maybe you're interested... and then days when I'm like LOOOL who am I kidding. Say yes or no... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Dear S,
I s'pose it's just you. Anyone else who's hurt me I either got over or they apologised/ we fixed it, or I don't want to give them the second chance.
You were a bastard last year, and you probably didn't even know it haha. You realllllly upset me for a while... but it was because I read into things that weren't there, not because you tried to hurt me. But I mean, you do things I don't like and I s'pose I could say I'm giving you a second chance for those things. I'm not sure though if I'm giving you this chance to change, or for me to change my outlook and accept them. I want to give you a second chance for being a player, but that's not really my chance to give seeing as nothing really ever happened between us... I don't get to complain... I don't get to pretend you cared :P
I really want to give me a second chance, a second chance at going for you... one where I actually have the guts to go for you... instead of hoping you'll look up and notice me out of your own free will because that just simply isn't working for me at the moment. I get days when I think... maybe you're interested... and then days when I'm like LOOOL who am I kidding. Say yes or no... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #21
Dear Someone I Judged By Their First Impression,
Dear P,
oh my, first day of year 8, walking, of course, into Mr Bell's English class. I was so short and you were so tall. "HI I"M MADDY." I swear it must have been the bravest thing I'd ever done so far and then you were like so giggly and loud :P you kept looking at me all day that first lesson after I said that and walked off... Perhaps I should have like sat with you or talked with you a little more after introducing myself :P Anyway, you were the crazy smiling girlthat day and I kind of haven't thought of you any differently since. So thank-you for not judging me on that interesting day and I'm so glad you haven't changed from being so cheery xxx
Dear P,
oh my, first day of year 8, walking, of course, into Mr Bell's English class. I was so short and you were so tall. "HI I"M MADDY." I swear it must have been the bravest thing I'd ever done so far and then you were like so giggly and loud :P you kept looking at me all day that first lesson after I said that and walked off... Perhaps I should have like sat with you or talked with you a little more after introducing myself :P Anyway, you were the crazy smiling girlthat day and I kind of haven't thought of you any differently since. So thank-you for not judging me on that interesting day and I'm so glad you haven't changed from being so cheery xxx
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #20
Dear Someone Who Broke My Heart The Hardest,
A broken heart... do I really know what it feels like? Will I ever know if I really know what it feels like? I think you broke my heart... but maybe I was just sad... just a little down for a while. Does being hurt by someone you loved count as having your heart broken?
Now... you broke my heart, I'm almost sure of it... but it wasn't your fault and I don't like pointing out that you broke my heart. :( I've said it enough times that I broke the day you died... but I spose for the sake of this letter Ihad to point it out again. I think my heart is mending though :) It won't take me so long next time.
Back to you... did I ever really love you enough for you to break anything inside of me? I'm sure I was pleased with you, taken by you and smitten even... I said I love you, but did I mean it. Can you break my heart if I didn't love you?
Maybe I break my own heart by bothering about all of these things... Would I have cared at all about you leaving me if I never thought about it again?
Well I'm still alive aren't I so it isn't broken literally which is a good thing. Perhaps this is a waste of time... :P
A broken heart... do I really know what it feels like? Will I ever know if I really know what it feels like? I think you broke my heart... but maybe I was just sad... just a little down for a while. Does being hurt by someone you loved count as having your heart broken?
Now... you broke my heart, I'm almost sure of it... but it wasn't your fault and I don't like pointing out that you broke my heart. :( I've said it enough times that I broke the day you died... but I spose for the sake of this letter Ihad to point it out again. I think my heart is mending though :) It won't take me so long next time.
Back to you... did I ever really love you enough for you to break anything inside of me? I'm sure I was pleased with you, taken by you and smitten even... I said I love you, but did I mean it. Can you break my heart if I didn't love you?
Maybe I break my own heart by bothering about all of these things... Would I have cared at all about you leaving me if I never thought about it again?
Well I'm still alive aren't I so it isn't broken literally which is a good thing. Perhaps this is a waste of time... :P
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #19
Dear Someone Who Pesters My Mind,
Howdy, hows it going? yeah you know I talk to you a lot... you just don't know... maybe your ear burns... isn't that what happens? when someone talks about you or thinks about you one of your ears burns or goes red or something? anyway... maybe it doesn't :P You spend a shitload of time in my mind and I have to say... if you're not going to behave the same way in real life I'd like you to gtfo of my thoughts.
Thinking about you is not a bad thing... They're nice thoughts, make me feel warm and cozy inside haha but... leaves me a little cold when I stop thinking. Im thinking you should like... just take a little look around the next time you're in my thoughts and mimick what you're like in there :) that would be nice I think.
I'd also like to say if you're a horrible person then my mind has given you way too much credit and from the stories I hear you're not very nice... so maybe you should try to deserve how nice my thoughts are to you. Don't turn out to be a bastard... just change your mind and consider what I am
Howdy, hows it going? yeah you know I talk to you a lot... you just don't know... maybe your ear burns... isn't that what happens? when someone talks about you or thinks about you one of your ears burns or goes red or something? anyway... maybe it doesn't :P You spend a shitload of time in my mind and I have to say... if you're not going to behave the same way in real life I'd like you to gtfo of my thoughts.
Thinking about you is not a bad thing... They're nice thoughts, make me feel warm and cozy inside haha but... leaves me a little cold when I stop thinking. Im thinking you should like... just take a little look around the next time you're in my thoughts and mimick what you're like in there :) that would be nice I think.
I'd also like to say if you're a horrible person then my mind has given you way too much credit and from the stories I hear you're not very nice... so maybe you should try to deserve how nice my thoughts are to you. Don't turn out to be a bastard... just change your mind and consider what I am
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #18
Dear The Person I Wish I Could Be,
I know you're out there somewhere, and I'm hoping you're out there in my future :) You're confident... you fight for the things you want that I can't quite get to at the moment. I'm content with what I am but I know I can be better.I want the power to look people in the eyes! man looking myself in the eye is awkward enough haha Perhaps someone who isn't so lazy... and someone who has mad cooking skills. I'm sure there is someone I'd rather be but whenI get down to it I'm actually really happy being me, just the little things I could work on... I don't want to be someone else
I know you're out there somewhere, and I'm hoping you're out there in my future :) You're confident... you fight for the things you want that I can't quite get to at the moment. I'm content with what I am but I know I can be better.I want the power to look people in the eyes! man looking myself in the eye is awkward enough haha Perhaps someone who isn't so lazy... and someone who has mad cooking skills. I'm sure there is someone I'd rather be but whenI get down to it I'm actually really happy being me, just the little things I could work on... I don't want to be someone else
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #17
Dear Someone From My Child Hood,
Dear Dean,
I'm fairly sure that was your name, it's either that or Dale or something... You had awesome fish, and while you weren't my favourite neighbour you were pretty awesome. I have to tell you though, I broke my first bone trying to feed your fish! it's still crooked today, over 8 years later. Your backyard was fricken amazing! I lost many frisbees and things in that junglee of yours. You were such a butch manly little 8 year old even though you used to cry when your mum tried to leave you at school in year 1 :P
Dear Dean,
I'm fairly sure that was your name, it's either that or Dale or something... You had awesome fish, and while you weren't my favourite neighbour you were pretty awesome. I have to tell you though, I broke my first bone trying to feed your fish! it's still crooked today, over 8 years later. Your backyard was fricken amazing! I lost many frisbees and things in that junglee of yours. You were such a butch manly little 8 year old even though you used to cry when your mum tried to leave you at school in year 1 :P
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #16
Dear Someone Who Lives In Another State/Country.
Dear so many people I know,
Cassidy; god I miss you like hell... I can't believe it's been so long since I was there! I wish I could come back and have our lovely long chats on your trampoline at night in summer, it's an excellent way to pass time and to get over things that upset you. Trying to double bounce each other is also quite excellent. It's so annoying having been moved so far away, I mean I know we didn't get to see you that often when westill lived in Melbourne but at least we were only a days drive away... now it feels like forever and a day. I can't wait to see you this Christmas, I'm dying to be back in that life with you all :D
Ryan and Pat; oh look you guys got to turn up in another letter, how fabulous. You guys were the most awesome street mates to have :D The people here fail miserably in comparison. Every strange game we used to play was so much fun and the walkie talkies were pretty amazing. I'm so glad we're still good friends now, probably better then we were before. It's pretty awesome that I can come stay with you when I visit and hang out with you guys :D Wish we lived in the same state guys
My family; you're all so far away and I miss you like crazy, but having this distance makes each visit feel like a wonderful gift and I treasure it so much more because I know how seldom I get to see you. I love you all, no matter how strange you are, and I just want to say that I'm so happy you are my family and I have that life to sink into every so often, it's like a perfect holiday from everyday life.
To everyone I've had to move away from, or met on holidays etc I'd like to say a hello to you and how do you do and end it with a toodledoo.
Dear so many people I know,
Cassidy; god I miss you like hell... I can't believe it's been so long since I was there! I wish I could come back and have our lovely long chats on your trampoline at night in summer, it's an excellent way to pass time and to get over things that upset you. Trying to double bounce each other is also quite excellent. It's so annoying having been moved so far away, I mean I know we didn't get to see you that often when westill lived in Melbourne but at least we were only a days drive away... now it feels like forever and a day. I can't wait to see you this Christmas, I'm dying to be back in that life with you all :D
Ryan and Pat; oh look you guys got to turn up in another letter, how fabulous. You guys were the most awesome street mates to have :D The people here fail miserably in comparison. Every strange game we used to play was so much fun and the walkie talkies were pretty amazing. I'm so glad we're still good friends now, probably better then we were before. It's pretty awesome that I can come stay with you when I visit and hang out with you guys :D Wish we lived in the same state guys
My family; you're all so far away and I miss you like crazy, but having this distance makes each visit feel like a wonderful gift and I treasure it so much more because I know how seldom I get to see you. I love you all, no matter how strange you are, and I just want to say that I'm so happy you are my family and I have that life to sink into every so often, it's like a perfect holiday from everyday life.
To everyone I've had to move away from, or met on holidays etc I'd like to say a hello to you and how do you do and end it with a toodledoo.
Posted by
madsie
I am the walrus
I wanna hold you hand... Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the boy who came to stay. He's the kind of boy you want so much it makes you sorry, still you don't regret a single day.
If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true. Would you help me understand, cause I've been in love before, and I've found that love is more then just holding hands. If I give my heart to you, I must be sure from the very start that you would love me more then her...
It won't be long, till I belong to you.
If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true. Would you help me understand, cause I've been in love before, and I've found that love is more then just holding hands. If I give my heart to you, I must be sure from the very start that you would love me more then her...
It won't be long, till I belong to you.
Posted by
madsie
sentimental moments #15
Dear Person I miss The Most,
Who do I miss the most. I miss you Ash, but my world has adjusted to not having you around now... now it's like you're still here but only for me.
Person who I can never talk to properly, I miss you from last year... be like that with me again... I know I promised I wouldn't wish about you anymore and that I'd be over you and all that shit. But you're making it difficult so screw you.
I miss you Ryan and Pat, I actually ache to have my old life back with you two... visiting you was the best thing leaving was the worst... I miss you guys like crazy you are so awesome.
Posted by
madsie
sentimental moments #14
Dear Someone I’ve Drifted Away From,
Dear Caitlin,
We were so awesome back in Anscome Loop… and you had the coolest cubby house. The walk to West Leeming Primary school was sooooo far haha not. Then you moved to Apple Cross I swear that brokemy heart Caitlin! but it’s ok cause then we moved to Melbourne. I totez lost my best friend :( THEN YOU MOVED TO MELBOURNE. god that was so weird and so excellent. I wonder if you remember that golf course right on the otherside of your fence… I remember going out and lying on it for ages and the sprinklers coming on. Oh the excellent times. You moved back to Perth, damn girl whyyy! But then a year later I moved back too and would you believe it we’re leaving two streets away from each other. you’re going to China with my brother and we saw Gaga together. We have drifted apart… but i think we’re drifting together again,
You’re awesome :D
Dear Caitlin,
We were so awesome back in Anscome Loop… and you had the coolest cubby house. The walk to West Leeming Primary school was sooooo far haha not. Then you moved to Apple Cross I swear that brokemy heart Caitlin! but it’s ok cause then we moved to Melbourne. I totez lost my best friend :( THEN YOU MOVED TO MELBOURNE. god that was so weird and so excellent. I wonder if you remember that golf course right on the otherside of your fence… I remember going out and lying on it for ages and the sprinklers coming on. Oh the excellent times. You moved back to Perth, damn girl whyyy! But then a year later I moved back too and would you believe it we’re leaving two streets away from each other. you’re going to China with my brother and we saw Gaga together. We have drifted apart… but i think we’re drifting together again,
You’re awesome :D
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #13
Dear Someone I Wish Could Forgive Me.
Dear Mum,
I'm sorry I got upset when you didn't come to see me dance. I should know straight away and not be so selfish. I hope you're ok and don't feel too bad... I know it's tough for you and I love you. I'm sorry I questioned you about not coming... I'm sorry I didn't just trust it was seriousish. I'm sorry mum for taking you for granted. I need you still, I'm not grown up enough to lose you. Forgive me for being a troublesome child and for beingspoilt and always wanting more. I'm sorry for saying sorry if that upsets you Be happy and enjoy your life please
I love you
Dear Mum,
I'm sorry I got upset when you didn't come to see me dance. I should know straight away and not be so selfish. I hope you're ok and don't feel too bad... I know it's tough for you and I love you. I'm sorry I questioned you about not coming... I'm sorry I didn't just trust it was seriousish. I'm sorry mum for taking you for granted. I need you still, I'm not grown up enough to lose you. Forgive me for being a troublesome child and for beingspoilt and always wanting more. I'm sorry for saying sorry if that upsets you Be happy and enjoy your life please
I love you
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #12
Dear Person who's hurt me most.
I've been very lucky in my life, no ones really struck out at me incredibly badly. So I'm not sure who to write to here...
I'll send a line to that driver... I don't know if he's alive or not, I don't know if it was even a he... but he took someone from me because he couldn't use a car properly. He created an accident that didn't need to happen, killing someone who didn't need to die.
I'll send a line to that doctor... that doctor that couldn't save his life... I have to hope that he tried, I have to believe that he did everything he could... but even so losing him was the greatest pain I've felt and I still don't know who to blame.
I could send a line to my ex. he was a right prick who went out of his way to hurt people... but the pain he caused me was nothing compared to actually hurting so I don't know if it would be worth it.
I could send a line to that violent person I know... Who likes to hit me to make himself feel better... To make himself feel bigger... He's probably hurt me the most physically... mentally I just don't care, so I could have been a lot worse off if it upset me more.
I could write a letter to Cupid. And say come down from your fucking fluffy cloud and see that I can love and I really would likeeeeee someone to love me. Maybe he should just take some aiming lessons to shoot the right person for me, or maybe he should just stop shooting me so I don't fall anymore.
After all of this I should probably just write to myself because I've been my worst critic, my worst enemy etc always... I didn't know how to love myself and so I was ruining myself... I probably made a lot of things worse then they had to be. I'm glad I'm learning how to change. and I'm glad this letter has no destination.
I've been very lucky in my life, no ones really struck out at me incredibly badly. So I'm not sure who to write to here...
I'll send a line to that driver... I don't know if he's alive or not, I don't know if it was even a he... but he took someone from me because he couldn't use a car properly. He created an accident that didn't need to happen, killing someone who didn't need to die.
I'll send a line to that doctor... that doctor that couldn't save his life... I have to hope that he tried, I have to believe that he did everything he could... but even so losing him was the greatest pain I've felt and I still don't know who to blame.
I could send a line to my ex. he was a right prick who went out of his way to hurt people... but the pain he caused me was nothing compared to actually hurting so I don't know if it would be worth it.
I could send a line to that violent person I know... Who likes to hit me to make himself feel better... To make himself feel bigger... He's probably hurt me the most physically... mentally I just don't care, so I could have been a lot worse off if it upset me more.
I could write a letter to Cupid. And say come down from your fucking fluffy cloud and see that I can love and I really would likeeeeee someone to love me. Maybe he should just take some aiming lessons to shoot the right person for me, or maybe he should just stop shooting me so I don't fall anymore.
After all of this I should probably just write to myself because I've been my worst critic, my worst enemy etc always... I didn't know how to love myself and so I was ruining myself... I probably made a lot of things worse then they had to be. I'm glad I'm learning how to change. and I'm glad this letter has no destination.
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #11
Dear A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To,
Dear Ash,
You had to be tonight didn't you, when I wanted an easy one so I could just go to sleep (L) But then again we did have our most fun at nights didn't we. Sleeping out in the park... when you brought me pillows and blankets, making me feel like you were my hero :P I don't... know what to say to you now... I mean, I want to talk to you more then I want anything else in this world, I want to see you smiling again... I want to feel your arms around meand fluff your hair and just... know that you're around. But I don't know what I'd say. I bet you'd say my rooms gone to hell... I'd bet you'd grin and say "hey Shucks" like nothing had happend. Like I hadn't watched you fade away. You'd laugh at where I am now... I know what you'd say about who I like :P You'd laugh at the fact that I was single and say "what happened to that girl who pushed me out of the tree with the force of her surprise kiss attack." I'd say she died with you. But she's coming back, she just had to go away for a little while until she learnt how to cope without you to ward of the evils. It was a shock to my system like getting cold water instead of hot... I had to adjust, and I feel guilty that it's taken me so long, when you got the worst of it all. I remember everything as if I watched a movie about us... or read it in a book, it's one of my favourite stories that I want to keep living forever...
I don't know what you were to me... I mean we got past romantic stuff... and yet I still loved you, I always loved you... You were like my brother, but not in a family-y way... you were like my fairy god mother, in a manly way... I mean you were gorgeous... I can't deny that and yet pretty soon I didn't look at you and see 'hot stuff' I just saw Ash... you were my Ash... for awhile you were my everything. I wouldn't say these things to you if I could talk to you though.I'd simply say "hi... it's been awhile... what took you so long" I'd just wait until natural conversation took over, just wait until there was something worth saying because every moment counts, but with you what wasn't said was alwaysso much more important than what was said. I might whisper "I love you" just to make sure you know, just in case you left again... It still hurts... writing this hurts, but in a way that makes me smile, and cry. excuse me while i get a tissue. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME :p
what would I give for one more hug. One more word.
Thank you for knowing me :)
Dear Ash,
You had to be tonight didn't you, when I wanted an easy one so I could just go to sleep (L) But then again we did have our most fun at nights didn't we. Sleeping out in the park... when you brought me pillows and blankets, making me feel like you were my hero :P I don't... know what to say to you now... I mean, I want to talk to you more then I want anything else in this world, I want to see you smiling again... I want to feel your arms around meand fluff your hair and just... know that you're around. But I don't know what I'd say. I bet you'd say my rooms gone to hell... I'd bet you'd grin and say "hey Shucks" like nothing had happend. Like I hadn't watched you fade away. You'd laugh at where I am now... I know what you'd say about who I like :P You'd laugh at the fact that I was single and say "what happened to that girl who pushed me out of the tree with the force of her surprise kiss attack." I'd say she died with you. But she's coming back, she just had to go away for a little while until she learnt how to cope without you to ward of the evils. It was a shock to my system like getting cold water instead of hot... I had to adjust, and I feel guilty that it's taken me so long, when you got the worst of it all. I remember everything as if I watched a movie about us... or read it in a book, it's one of my favourite stories that I want to keep living forever...
I don't know what you were to me... I mean we got past romantic stuff... and yet I still loved you, I always loved you... You were like my brother, but not in a family-y way... you were like my fairy god mother, in a manly way... I mean you were gorgeous... I can't deny that and yet pretty soon I didn't look at you and see 'hot stuff' I just saw Ash... you were my Ash... for awhile you were my everything. I wouldn't say these things to you if I could talk to you though.I'd simply say "hi... it's been awhile... what took you so long" I'd just wait until natural conversation took over, just wait until there was something worth saying because every moment counts, but with you what wasn't said was alwaysso much more important than what was said. I might whisper "I love you" just to make sure you know, just in case you left again... It still hurts... writing this hurts, but in a way that makes me smile, and cry. excuse me while i get a tissue. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME :p
what would I give for one more hug. One more word.
Thank you for knowing me :)
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #10
Dear Someone I Don't Talk To As Much As I'd Like To,
Dear Craig,
You are a pretty awesome person no matter what you say! And it's always exciting to talk to you :) I feel so sad when you are sad and things don't go well for you but you're generally such a happy bouncy personand I just wanna talk to you more cause it's fun :D You say the randomest things and steal people shoes and I'm always laughing when I'm around you. Even though we can sit next to eacch other in the library and barely speak it's ok cause we just don't know each other very well yet :) I think you looked awesome as the mask and feeding you jelly was the highlight of that night :D
Don't forget you're awesome :D
keep smilinglet's talk more
xxx
Dear Craig,
You are a pretty awesome person no matter what you say! And it's always exciting to talk to you :) I feel so sad when you are sad and things don't go well for you but you're generally such a happy bouncy personand I just wanna talk to you more cause it's fun :D You say the randomest things and steal people shoes and I'm always laughing when I'm around you. Even though we can sit next to eacch other in the library and barely speak it's ok cause we just don't know each other very well yet :) I think you looked awesome as the mask and feeding you jelly was the highlight of that night :D
Don't forget you're awesome :D
keep smilinglet's talk more
xxx
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental Moments #9
Dear Someone I Wish I Could Meet,
I wish I could meet my true love... but I think I'm a bit young so that can wait. I'd love to meet Ewan Mcgreggor but I bet he turns out to be nothing like the man I wish he was so I don't to ruin my ideaof him. Hmm I spose I could just meet more people in general learn more about how different people work... and see which people I'd be friends with etc. I'd like to meet someone from every country and I'd like them to teach meabout their lives and their cultures. I'd like to meet people from different classes and ranks. A politician... a broke man, a high class woman everyone. I want to meet a dancer, an accountant a priest I want to meet everyone....
:D hi everyone
I wish I could meet my true love... but I think I'm a bit young so that can wait. I'd love to meet Ewan Mcgreggor but I bet he turns out to be nothing like the man I wish he was so I don't to ruin my ideaof him. Hmm I spose I could just meet more people in general learn more about how different people work... and see which people I'd be friends with etc. I'd like to meet someone from every country and I'd like them to teach meabout their lives and their cultures. I'd like to meet people from different classes and ranks. A politician... a broke man, a high class woman everyone. I want to meet a dancer, an accountant a priest I want to meet everyone....
:D hi everyone
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental moments #8
Dear Favourite Internet Friend,
Hey little Spanish kid, you're my only completely internet friend so I shall write this letter to you :D I met you on Omegle... it's depressing but true and then we became internet buddies and I'm pretty grateful for that actually :D you also use a lot of smiley faces when we talk which makes me feel happy and suggests to me you're a happy person
You have fallen in love with a girl whos favourite musical is Moulin Rouge so you therefore have excellent taste in girls :P and I'm glad for your sake for that ;P It was really random how our friendship started but I feel glad that you opened up to me even though I'm on the other side of the world. You asked me for advice on Omegle about how to get this girl... I could have been anyone, a perverted old man or whatever but I'm so glad it was me you asked. I'm not sure if I've given you good advice I mean, I don't have very much experiance and no one ever likes me back so... possibly not but from what you've told me it's been working slowly. I love to listen to you speak because you speak of love as if it is the most wonderful thing in the world, you have so much hope and it's just so sweet. You talk about her in the most amazing way and it gives me hope for man kind and I just swell up with happiness to know that you exist and to know you're involved in my life somehow. You worry so much about every single one of your actions and I just want to be able to give you a big hug and tell you that the world will be ok,that your life will be ok no matter what happens... That things will change for the better and worse but you'll be ok. You told me that you didn't want anything to happen between you and this girl because if it ended badly you would lose her as a friend, you also told me you want a serious relationship with her and you feel you are too young to start one now so you want to wait. I was gobsmacked that these ideas would cross your mind and I love that you care so much to think them through. I feel so bad for you that you want to wait so that you can eventually get her seriously because for now it's obviously hurting you... I never knew straight guys who cared about love actually existed :)
I hope you have a hot older brother
xxx your internet friend
Hey little Spanish kid, you're my only completely internet friend so I shall write this letter to you :D I met you on Omegle... it's depressing but true and then we became internet buddies and I'm pretty grateful for that actually :D you also use a lot of smiley faces when we talk which makes me feel happy and suggests to me you're a happy person
You have fallen in love with a girl whos favourite musical is Moulin Rouge so you therefore have excellent taste in girls :P and I'm glad for your sake for that ;P It was really random how our friendship started but I feel glad that you opened up to me even though I'm on the other side of the world. You asked me for advice on Omegle about how to get this girl... I could have been anyone, a perverted old man or whatever but I'm so glad it was me you asked. I'm not sure if I've given you good advice I mean, I don't have very much experiance and no one ever likes me back so... possibly not but from what you've told me it's been working slowly. I love to listen to you speak because you speak of love as if it is the most wonderful thing in the world, you have so much hope and it's just so sweet. You talk about her in the most amazing way and it gives me hope for man kind and I just swell up with happiness to know that you exist and to know you're involved in my life somehow. You worry so much about every single one of your actions and I just want to be able to give you a big hug and tell you that the world will be ok,that your life will be ok no matter what happens... That things will change for the better and worse but you'll be ok. You told me that you didn't want anything to happen between you and this girl because if it ended badly you would lose her as a friend, you also told me you want a serious relationship with her and you feel you are too young to start one now so you want to wait. I was gobsmacked that these ideas would cross your mind and I love that you care so much to think them through. I feel so bad for you that you want to wait so that you can eventually get her seriously because for now it's obviously hurting you... I never knew straight guys who cared about love actually existed :)
I hope you have a hot older brother
xxx your internet friend
Posted by
madsie
Sentimental moments #7
Dear Ex-boyfriend,
I could yell at you here, I probably should yell at you here... you deserve a lot worse but I don't see the point. The only reason I'd yell at you is to make you realise what you did, to make you hurt like I did, not because that's what I want to say to you, or because that's how I'm feeling now. I look back over the time we spent together and I think wtf was I thinking, but I also smile because I had a good time. I don't know why I did but I did. I have to say I'm glad my heart has moved on and I can look at you and not pine over you... that was pretty pathetic. Liking someone else was so refreshing for me... you were like a bad mood I just couldn't shake, perhaps I could point out here how sick you made me, physically. I would spend nights at home sleeping outside the bathroom spending more time in there being sick then outside sleeping during the days while you were being a complete asshole. When you made me do things to please you that I didn't want to do I felt cheap and sick and horrible but I so desperately didn't want you to dump me, even then I knew you were a perverted prick and somehow I still wanted you around. I'm glad to say I'm over that stage... that was pretty pathetic..
But this wasn't meant to be a hate letter, I don't want to reminisce over old times either though. I really don't know what I want to say to you. I want you to get out of my life. As much as I want to remember this someoneI want to make sure I forget you. I want someone to have to remind me what you were like, I don't want to know you and I don't want to be around the hurt that you cause. Your friends put up with so much and I used to hear most of it but in the end I gave up. You are like an endless source of pain and you inflict it on anyone that tries to get close to you... and I still can't work out exactly why. You come across as so happy and carefree always jumping around and smiling... anyone who only knew that side of you would bash me for this letter and that was a nice side of you. I felt like a little kid finding out there is no santa clause the day I realised that side of you barely even belonged to you.
Have a nice life.
I could yell at you here, I probably should yell at you here... you deserve a lot worse but I don't see the point. The only reason I'd yell at you is to make you realise what you did, to make you hurt like I did, not because that's what I want to say to you, or because that's how I'm feeling now. I look back over the time we spent together and I think wtf was I thinking, but I also smile because I had a good time. I don't know why I did but I did. I have to say I'm glad my heart has moved on and I can look at you and not pine over you... that was pretty pathetic. Liking someone else was so refreshing for me... you were like a bad mood I just couldn't shake, perhaps I could point out here how sick you made me, physically. I would spend nights at home sleeping outside the bathroom spending more time in there being sick then outside sleeping during the days while you were being a complete asshole. When you made me do things to please you that I didn't want to do I felt cheap and sick and horrible but I so desperately didn't want you to dump me, even then I knew you were a perverted prick and somehow I still wanted you around. I'm glad to say I'm over that stage... that was pretty pathetic..
But this wasn't meant to be a hate letter, I don't want to reminisce over old times either though. I really don't know what I want to say to you. I want you to get out of my life. As much as I want to remember this someoneI want to make sure I forget you. I want someone to have to remind me what you were like, I don't want to know you and I don't want to be around the hurt that you cause. Your friends put up with so much and I used to hear most of it but in the end I gave up. You are like an endless source of pain and you inflict it on anyone that tries to get close to you... and I still can't work out exactly why. You come across as so happy and carefree always jumping around and smiling... anyone who only knew that side of you would bash me for this letter and that was a nice side of you. I felt like a little kid finding out there is no santa clause the day I realised that side of you barely even belonged to you.
Have a nice life.
Posted by
madsie
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