trying to find words to describe

i'm trying to find a someone, who's really just a no one, who lives cause i'm there someone... so far i've found no one.

why am i living to find a love, so true and always strong... when i'm fighting to run away and i won't stay too long.
it's hard at the moment to get words onto this... blog that rightly say how i feel, i am but 15 years old... soon to be 16. i can't make up my mind on anything... and no one can make up their mind on me.

im never fully complete unless I am in love... and this makes me feel guilty for needing more then just friends.

i lost my train of thought

omg

re-read my blogs... im such an emo kid D:

if my tears were meaningful

energy drained, i swear i was framed, but no one really cares, ask me? no one dares. and i wonder how can it be, when there's nothing left of me, that these tears they do still fall, even though i can't feel at all.

RAGE

WHY WERE WE GIVEN FEELINGS. why are we allowed to feel any good in this world when we abuse the feelings. why should we feel. why should anyone love... if that means they can hate. i haven't yet seen that it's worth it. what is friendship anyway. is it deep, or shallow... how do you know. and what is the difference between friends and a stranger other then knowledge. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. LIFE IS A WAR ZONE GET THE FUCK USED TO IT. no one really cares. and yet everyone does with all of their heart. but how much is all of their heart... is it anything at all? a heart is a muscle... how can it feel, how can it love... it's tiny how can you say you love someone with all of your heart... when really you're giving barely anything. how can i love him, and want him with all of my being... how is this possible. when i feel so empty inside... when i have nothing to give, and i have nothing to take.

how can she be so hypocritical and say that she knows all. When there is so much her eyes never see. how can someone who doesn't allow themselves to feel, judge others and their feelings. IT DOESN'T WORK

how can i shut my eyes to everything and close of the hurt, the pain and attack of everyone.. how can i do this, when it's what i want more then anything now. If you want something bad enough you will get it... well i want it with the rest of whatever i have to offer up... and yet, is that enough?


why do people say they care, when empathy is a lost art... why do people act like they love... when they don't believe it. why do people frown and smile, why do people laugh and cry... why do people exist... and why are they allowed to feel.