gimmee sum luving everyday

i wanna go back to the dreams i'm living in my head....
"we used to be best friends maddy... what happend?" ha oh what a dream i had last night..... :( i want it back cause i'm wasting my time cause you're still on my mind. i never thought i'd give up on you... never thought that was something i could do... and now i know i can't cause i won't let go... touch down turn around i never see you around anywhere or anymore... you are what i'm looking for.

i know i can be a little stubborn sometimes... i was just trying to find a way to compromise... i believed that we could work things out, i thought you had all the answers, always giving in, and now that you're gone i see where i went wrong... see i wanna think it's something that i did so i can bring it back around... i keep trying to find my way, but all i find is i'm lost without you. i don't ask for much all i want is love, that's all i need... somebody to be good to me. then i could think i have it all, if could love again at all. i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at nigh, he's the song in the car i keep singing don't know why i do.

i would give an arm and a leg not to feel like that ^ so i could stop blogging this pointless heart hurting stuff. it hurts to know he's the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. ha... i guess if i was someone else, reading this... i would throw up. yeah... but god i can't get it off my mind.

so anyway he can take what he wants from me cause i dont got nothing worth having if i havent got him.


mood change... should've seen that one coming... oh how i hate the internet, i want to destroy it... but then i wouldn't have a blog.
the tears stream down my face once more, sliding over my heated cheeks, to drop lightly onto my waiting hands. i'd wipe them off, but as soon as one is wiped three more are in place, tumbling down my face.
my heart is aching and possibly breaking, there must be something i could be taking. curled up tight, im in an emotional fight, to breathe, and leave, my caring behind. air is short, i was never taught, how to cope, when you've lost all hope. i'm not sure where to go, i'm not sure what i know, i'm not sure what this be, that's twisting and turning inside of me. i don't know what's real, i don't even know how i feel, i just know it hurts, and

it's creating water in my eyes that falls in droplets, warm, uncomfortable displaying the feeling i cannot place.

my body cramps, my face is damp, i'm so unsure, i can't smile anymore. pretty much i'm laying flat, far away upset and all that, i wish i could stand, and not need a helping hand, i wish i could be, only needing me... i'm tired of needing more, so i guess i'll stay here on the floor.