you left

You know the words "you left" came to me as an idea of a title for a blog 2 seconds ago when i decided to blog... just as they came to me so did the revealation that i never left. "you left." I have walked through people's lives as i move location, but never left while staying where i was. i have always been the one being left. i know some may argue differently some may say there was a time when i cared about them more, when i payed attention to everyone equally... well i want to point out, that i can't care for people who say the same crap over and over again, Repetition = patience. i don't have patience, i dont have the patience to wait for you to up your game. i live in a world where people must constantly come up with knew ways to show me, or fail. harsh, but that's me. i pay attention to everyone in equal amounts still, just with different emphasis, some people it's a positive paying attention, some peopple a negative. i never left... i'm still here, im still laying out all my feelings here for everyone to see as they wish. no i never left.

you left, when your life ended. and left me here to fend for myself on earth. you left and changed my future and plans completely because i had to take you out of them. But you didnt leave in a way that made me mad. sure it made me sad and i miss you so much now but i know it was your time, and deep down i knew you were like me, just passing through on your way to a different place stopping off quickly to change something in my life that will help me in the future. you've altered my view on life ever so slightly that i don't know how yet, but when the day comes and i find something and i know that i found it because you were in my life, i will know i could've gone through life without seeing it if it weren't for my time with you.

you left, when your loyalties died. You left in a cowardly way that made me angry, made me loathe the very air you breathe let alone your very being. you made me crave revenge, yet you left me too weak to claim it. you also changed my view on things but i don't get the feeling you were there specifically for me to change my view, no there's something else with you, some other reason that you're here and that it is like it is. but i sheild my heart, and i keep to myself now because of you, you may have taught me one of the greatest lessons, that your heart is your most treasured, and most breakable ... treasure so take care of it by whatever means possible... even if it means locking it away for awhile and putting off the feeling you've always dreamt of getting.

you left, you hid yourself. and i told you to. i told you to go away and leave me. and you did. you always listen, and i should say thankyou for that. i am glad you did listen but it proves my point i've made many times. you think i left, but i was never there, you think i changed, but you just saw me differently. don't you see it's all fading now... i haven't changed, you treated me different, you expected more, you couldn't let me be what i wanted and then realised that what i wanted could never be what you wanted. and so it's starting to fade... don't you see you're just seeing me differently now. you left

i never left