so be it

ha so ok, i guess im down a million dollars and out of that race *wipes forhead* thank god. i guess, like everything else that was a lie the "i'll always be here for you" was too?


*sigh* i have no will to blog atm. what i want to say i can't, what i should say i won't, what anyone wants to read i never say, im so tired :) tired like im an old woman... i don't have the energy for problems. for anoying boys, for bitchy girls, for moving house, for running away, for study, for anything other then what i need. like my hopes, and dreams. i stuck by me and only me before so why can't i now... i don't care if it's shallow, i'll go back to me, and maybe i won't be so tired from bothering myself about you.


life will once again be grand. you shattered my perfect picture. you silly people. you ruined the good i had. and made me feel, love, and friendship. and then tore me apart. and now im here wondering if it's worth going back. i don't feel hurt, sad, happy, alone... anything. i'm just floating here in limbo curious to what would happen if i went back, or if i left. wondering what you're thinking you silly people, wondering if you care about me or want me back... i don't know. i may never know. will i go on from limbo with me. or will i leave limbo at where i am and go back to people. i don't know. all i know is, only the people who will let me leave when i need to matter, no one else does... no one else can make life easy enough for me