you foul beast

you do that. you break her apart and take away everything from her in a horrible way. you crush her, you send her packing into my world. you let her follow my stumbling, tear ridden footsteps. you do it and watch as more and more people stop caring about you in the slightest. you watch as your world eventually crumbles as again and again you do it, again and again you break people down to pathetic remnants of their former glory. you do that and know that i will be looking on, watching her fall, watching you run off, looking on thinking how you are such an easy mistake to make. when you are done and your scraps are left on the floor i will welcome her into my world with open arms, i will welcome her in with a cold heart and the words "i told you so" on my lips. i will welcome her in glad that now she too can live through what i did, horribly, twistedly glad that she fell like i did.

i know that beneath everyones pretences they are all the same. i know how these two friends of the male species use us females. i know how they show it completely differently and hide it in their own ways. i know that beneath whatever sharade they try next they are both the same, and are both missing the two same things.
a.) a heart
b.) the ability to love. to love forcibly or unconditionaly.

i will watch with a smirk on my face as you move on, and on, and on. never knowing if a second thought crosses your mind, never knowing what your true feelings are. never knowing anything about you because everything i knew was a lie. i will watch you move on and hope that one day, one day karma gets off it's ass for long enough to show you just where you went wrong.

i hope you know that every postive emotion i had for you was changed to a pathetic sadness. i hope you know that these pathetic emotions inside me have been boiling inside me as i held them in and have finally reached exploding point in the form of disgust, hatred, and many emotions following Schadenfreude. i hope you know it pleases me to see you cry. that makes me smile. i hope you know that watching your pathetic scraps fall and blubber makes me smile because at that moment i know i am more wise and learned then them. and then i smile because i know they will get to where i am and be ok.

i hope you know that tonight. yes tonight alone i got over it. tonight i understood, tonight i overcame that mountain. tonight i realised that with the change of emotion it only hurts because i still let it hurt and now i have become strong enough to not only keep everyone else out but push that away too. my walls are rebuilt stronger then before, there is armed guard at every entrence so no fool can get through as you did. no one stands a chance now that i have decided and i thank you for giving me the strength to save myself.