It only makes it harder to fit in, you should be happy excited even if you're just invited. cause the winners need someone to clap for them. it's time you started making your own rules.
What can i say that i havent yet said
What can i write here that people might read, understand and believe without overlooking
What can i write here that has any point and is even the tiniest bit worth while
Perfect... find your perfect. that is my perfect ^. There is at least on place somewhere that is your perfect... find it and stay there. there is at least one person in this god for saken world who is your perfect, find them and hold onto them. there is at least one memory that is your perfect, know it and never forget it. There is at least one goal, one outcome for you life that is your perfect, work for it and never give up on it.
As hard as we try to forget it, our past is part of who we are now. we can be disgusted by this fact, we can swear that it altered nothing within us. but it is only ourselves we are lying to when we say that. for every happy moment, every sad, has changed us in someway, however small... it has.... that photo above with me and callan is from about 2 years ago... now something in life has changed me so much. i do not look like that girl any more, i barely even act like her... i am disgusted in what i have become but i do not get angry at my past... i get angry at myself for letting events that passed affect me like that. i get angry that i let myself change from this girl into what i am now.
i think the main thing in me that has altered is my belief in things. such as love... my only opinion on love used to be it is the strongest most beautiful thing ever... now i still believe that, but i believe that even though it tops the good things charts the power of the bad things is stronger... this has affected me so now although i still am amazed by love and think its beautiful i have agreed that for now it isnt for me... no for now love is a four letter word i can do without. i would rather observe it, smile at other peoples happiness and write about it... rather then participate in finding out for myself... i have always been the observer and now it's starting to sink in.
Other little things in life affect me. when i found my perfect place... when i fell in love with the eifel tower and france something changed in me... i found a new sort of hope... before my opinion of the future woz that it scared me so much. now i know i have something to long for, to aim for. to return to paris and that if my life doesnt go where it should that i can always go back there and refind whatever it was i found there 2 years ago.
finding your perfects finds parts of you that were hidden with your perfects. finding your perfects pieces you together to help you fully understand yourself so that you can fully understand all. finding yourself is most important... and finding happiness too... for those of us who sit dismally in dispair will never know true happiness... will never understand the power of a perfect. those of us slumped into depression think everyone should care about them more... but if they were happy and strong then they could care about other people and earn the care of other people in return. i have been raised to be strong. i dont blink an eyelid at any passing events although i make it seem as though i do... i dont want to come across heartless... but when people mope around and complain it makes me angry. get off your lazy ass's and go out into the world to find your perfects, get off your lazy ass and find that person that makes you smile just by thinking about them, just by hearing their name, and take them with you. find your perfects and never ever let go
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