i wanna be. i wanna be. i wanna be famous

mama who bore me. mama who gave me. mama the angels who made me so sad

now its time to pack up and move again. say goodbye to all my frends cant say when ill be there again its time now to turn around, turn ma bak on everything.

well well well... wosonmamind... my crap dancing skills? yeah how everyone loved them /sarcasm. oh what a fail. The disapointment of zac stealing my center stage spot next to sam? stupid boi. no not really... i wish that was all that was on my mind, how easy life would be then.

no wosonmamind is everything, everything that i wanted, wot was ment to be, supposed to be before i lost it. all this time we were pretending so much for my happy ending. no wosonmamind is feelings, confusion... the fact that i have a headache, and that my hip hurts... stupid bench. wosonmamind is that i never get anything right and im searching for solutions to problems that i've created. wosonmamind is finding a way to make it better for me and everyone else finding a way to right what wrongs i've caused. that's wots on my mind

but then there's a lot more on my mind too. there's my plans for the future both near and far. there's my considerations of where to go now. who am i going to please first me... or the few people i'll upset by pleasing me. oh the decision. it's like that question would you choose to go to heaven while all your friends are sent to hell to enable you to go to heaven... or go to hell to let them go on to heaven... that's a pretty obvious choice for me... so is that what i do in this situation then?

wosonmamind is my assignment which i should be doing right now... but it's so much work and i dont want to get started yet. wosonmamind is failing as a person because my expert control over my emotions is slipping. my expert handle on controlling what is seen, sending out false emotions to get the right response and hiding everything true is fading. my control is crumbling as i find myself struggling to regain power over myself. i feel like im floundering around in waters to deep for me... struggling for air and calmness from my thrashing about. i feel like i dont know anymore. and i dont know who to go to to pull me bak together again.