fail... or did i

what is this feeling, so sudden and knew... came over me the moment i learnt about you.... LOATHING UNADULTERATED LOATHING. i loathe you, i LOATHE you. it makes me sick to think i ever...

to go out on a limb, to attempt something out of your comfort zone in the hope of achieving something is difficult for anyone. so why go to great lengths to shoot someone down like that, why try so hard to make them feel like they failed when it's hard enough without your help. I would be ashamed to admit to an onlooker that i knew you, that i ever respected you.

Human life should be valued, respected, treasured. each life is unique, special, and worth it. this is my opinion... was my opinion until i met you. what human, could treat another human that badly... could sink that low just for a few seconds of anonymous pleasure to know they hurt someone. i didn't expect it from any human, and certaintly not from you.

Through your difficult times i stuck around, i put up with your shit and smiled through the pain. i pulled so many strings to make life a little easier for you, and listened and sympathised about the bad things in your life. Until it became evident you brought them on yourself. I stuck around for so long, under but the worst circumstances... used, feelings abused and ignored i stuck around still. trying to help in anyway i could. i turned against former friends or beliefs for you... because i thought there was more to you then anyone else knew... it turned out all the people that already hated you, gave you way to much credit when they spoke of you. turns out your lower then even they described.

a heart is a delicate thing, ive watched you destroy so many. a smile is a beautiful thing, ive watched you smash so many. a tear is a terrible thing, ive watched you draw so many. i have witnessed and felt the effects myself and paid the price asked for being your friend. I don't wish to regret anything in life, but i regret knowing you the way i did, i regret respecting you and given you ample chance to hurt so many.

i apologise to my friends for letting you effect them through me. and i apologise to your friends for having to put up with you when it's evident you have no life. i'm sorry that a human life was wasted on you, whatever you are... i'm sorry you were granted this gift of life as you so obviously abuse it.

life is a gift, love is a blessing. i hate to see you waste them.