which emotions wins out in the end

I'm angry, furious... vehement everything! i'm sad, depressed i want to cry but i haven't the energy. i want to laugh, at myself for how foolish i was. i want to scream that i should have listened... i should have seen the signs... i should have known i'm not deserving. i want to shrink away with embarrisment, for i was a fool and now he laughs at me... he knew and i went on, and he never stopped me... and therefore the anger boils again and i want to scream at him for being so heartless... for letting me get to a place where the fall would all but destroy me.

love. is out there. but it will never reach my heart